


Dark is the blood that paints the battlefield

by Chorifoxash



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Am I even doing this right?, Angst, Cameos, Forbidden Love, I guess? Idk I'm sorry if I do this wrong, I like master Yoda, Including the Author, Lightwood Siblings, Luke is the best dad, M/M, Maybe I added some of my friends in here, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Padawan!Alec, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, everyone is trying their best, idk what I am even doing, senator!magnus, starwars!AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-05-20 06:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14888987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chorifoxash/pseuds/Chorifoxash
Summary: Alec saw the droid too late.He and his Master were surrounded by clone troopers, their battalion and still, somehow the droid had managed to get this far in the heat of the battlefield.His Master always fought among her soldiers, always standing in the first line her blue lightsaber held tightly between her hands. But not even her excellent skills with the lightsaber could save Jedi Knight Maryses Trueblood from the laser bullet leaving the droids blaster.Alec saw the droid too late.orStar Wars!Au were the Padawan falls in love with the Senator he's supposed to protect. (Don't worry I'm not gonna follow the Annidala plot)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love Shadowhunters and I love Star Wars so I said to myself: Why not combine these two things?  
> That's basically how this fic was born.  
> After the terrible news this week I doubted if I would really start posting this, but I've figured, even if the show ends my love for Malec won't go away with it!  
> I don't know how regularly I'll post but I'll try my best to do it once a month or so.  
> English isn't my native language so please excuse grammar/spelling mistakes!  
> This is my first ff I've written in english and I'm very new to this whole posting ff thing so sorry if this is totally messy.

Alec saw the droid too late.

He and his Master were surrounded by clone troopers, their battalion and still, somehow the droid had managed to get this far in the heat of the battlefield.

His Master always fought among her soldiers, always standing in the first line her blue lightsaber held tightly between her hands. But not even her excellent skills with the lightsaber could save Jedi Knight Maryses Trueblood from the laser bullet leaving the droids blaster.

Alec saw the droid too late.

“Master!”, he cried out but it was too late. The bullet hit her right between her ribs. The clone troopers destroyed the droid but Alec didn’t care.

He abandoned his post, ignoring his clone captains scream and ran to his fallen Master.

He dropped to his knees into the dust next to her.

“Master”, he whispered, her eyes fluttered open and she reached out for him.

“Alec…”, she said, her voice barely over a whisper. Maryse weakly cupped his cheek with her hand and opened her mouth to say something. The words should never be spoken. With one last, hitched breath her body went limp in Alec’s arms.

Alec could feel it through the force. He could feel live leaving his Masters body and found himself unable to do anything then watch. With trembling fingers, he closed her eyes and felt a single tear fall down his cheek. A strong hand wrapped around his biceps and Alec looked up to Raj, the captain of their… his battalion.

“Commander, you need to get up. There’s nothing you can do for the General”, he said. Alec couldn’t see his face under the bi-colored helmet, but he could picture the sadness in his eyes and the reassuring smile he always gave him when they buried one of their friends. Raj was right, the troopers needed a strong lead, someone to guide them.

They needed a leader.

A commander.

They needed Alec.

The Padawan took a deep breath and looked down at his Master’s lifeless body one last time, before he got up taking Maryse’s lightsaber in one and his own in his other hand. The blades lit up and the blue of her lightsaber seemed to harmonize with the green of his own. With secure steps Alec made his way to the front of the line of the soldiers.

The second wave of separatist droids were a few clicks in front of them, still not in the reach of their blasters, but Alec was about to change that. He raised the green blade and pointed at the droids. Tears were still prickling in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away.

“For the Republic!”, he screamed and Raj added: “For the General!”

“Attack!”

 

A week. It took them an entire week to reach the next republican camp. On their way, they were confronted with Seps more than once. Once the camp appeared on their holo-cameras Alec could feel the tension the soldiers had carried around with them the last week pour out of their shoulders.

Raj, who was only a little taller than Alec despite their age difference (or at least the age Raj would’ve had if not being a clone) approached Alec as they entered the camp. He had taken his helmet of and his, for clones unusual, tanned skin shone with sweat in the sun of the day.

“You okay, kid?”, he asked and Alec couldn’t help but roll his eyes at him. Since the first day they had met, Raj called him kid no matter how much Alec protested. Master Trueblood had always only snorted in disagreement over their small fights, but without being able to hide the fond spark in her eyes. She had always seemed colder than she actually was. Had been. She was dead.

That day felt like a lifetime ago. A reminder of happier days. Alec had never spoken it out, but he missed Master Trueblood. He missed her disapproving looks when he used soldier slang. He missed the way the vibrant blue of her lightsaber was a guidance on the battlefield. He missed their meditations together, the way he could feel her presence through the force. He missed the bond they had shared through the force. The place, where his Master was supposed to be, had been a dark void since her death.

“Kid?”, Raj asked again, worry flashing through his dark eyes. Eyes that had witnessed enough death and destruction to fill more than a lifetime.

“I’m fine. I-I just… I miss her”, Alec admitted, his hand unconsciously fiddling with his Padawan braid. Another manner his master had always witnessed with a disapproving look, never the less always having a fond spark in her eyes.

Raj wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze. “Me too”, he admitted: “But we don’t call us the Adamant for nothing. We endure pain and never break.”

Alec gave him a little smile before they both focused on the ship landing in the camp. It was a Republican gunboat and when the doors slided open clone troopers in white armor left the ship. He could feel the presence of a Jedi on the ship and for a split second, Alec let himself hope that Master Trueblood would leave the ship. That she wasn’t dead and everything had been a horrible nightmare. But the reality was brutal. The Jedi who left the ship wasn’t at all like his old Master.

“Master Starkweather”, Alec greeted as he and Raj approached the ship.

“Young Lightwood. I heard about Master Trueblood. I am truly sorry for your loss, Padawan”, he said, his blue eyes showing only little compassion. Hodge Starkweather was a blonde man with blue eyes and smaller than Alec, which wasn’t unusual most people were smaller than Alec. Starkweather was known to be a lot of things, but he wasn’t a soldier and even less a leader.

“What brings you here, General?”, Raj asked and Starkweather answered without hesitation.

“I’m here to send Padawan Lightwood back to Coruscant, where the Jedi Council will be assigning him to another Master”, he explained bluntly: “I will be taking over command over this battalion.”

Back to Coruscant, back to the temple. Under different circumstances Alec would’ve been more than happy to leave the dusty planet he and his soldiers had spent ten rotations on, but these weren’t different circumstances. His Master was dead, they hadn’t defeated the Separatists and right now his battalion was all the friends he had. And now he was going to leave them.

He felt waves of negative emotions coming from Raj through the force. It seemed like the captain wanted him to leave just as much as he did himself.

“General, with all due respect, Commander Lightwood is an extraordinary tactician and a born leader. This battalion needs him on the battlefield”, he said and Master Starkweather’s eyes turned into ice cold seas of blue.

“Are you disobeying my orders, Captain? Do you think the Jedi Council doesn’t know what’s best for one of our students?”, he asked, the defiance clear in his voice. Alec felt a cold shiver running down his spine and he forced himself not to shudder. There was something dark about Master Starkweather, something he couldn’t define…

“Of course not, Sir”, the Captain answered: “But I still think…”  
“I don’t care about what you think, Captain nor does the Council”, Starkweather interrupted him and Alec placed a hand on Raj’s shoulder, stopping him from saying anything.

“I’ll go back to Coruscant, Master, but I’d like to say goodbye to my men”, Alec said and Starkweather shook his head.

“We don’t have time for sloppy sentimentality, Padawan. This is war, you don’t always get the chance to say goodbye”, he said coldly and Alec could see Raj flexing his jaw in anger.  
“I understand”, he simply stated and turned to his Captain: “Don’t get shot. And destroy a few clankers for me.” A light smile tugged on the clone’s lips and he ruffled his hand through Alec’s raven hair, the Padawan letting out a protesting cry.

“Take care of you, kid”, he said, a fond spark in his eyes: “I’ll see you on the other side of the war.” Alec smiled and ignored Master Starkweather’s annoyed groan. He turned away from the Captain and entered the gunboat. The loud sound of the engines starting filled his ears and a warm wind blew through the open doors of the ship.

Here he was, about to leave the planet he had grown to dislike so much. Leaving behind his battalion, his friends under the command of a Jedi he wasn’t sure he trusted. He watched Raj raise a hand to wave him goodbye and Alec realized that this may be the last time he will see him. He will probably never see them again.

The ship left the ground and Alec yelled over the loud sound of the engines:

“May the force be with you!”

 

 

Silence.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Reach out. Let the force guide you.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Peace. For now.

It seemed impossible for Alec to meditate in the quiet of his room on the ship that was bringing him to Coruscant. After months on the battlefield the silence made him feel almost uncomfortable.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Clear your mind, let your thoughts disappear.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Alec couldn’t help let his mind wander back to the dusty planet he left his battalion on. The faces of his friends flashing through his mind. Raj with his stern face and friendly soul, Dee with his sarcasm and love for explosives, Fix-It who got his nickname by “fixing” wounded soldiers. His Masters face appeared in his mind and he thought of the small hill, where they had buried her. Alec had taken her lightsaber with him, unable to leave it behind. The Jedi didn’t care about trivial things like possessions or other physical things, but Alec needed something more than just memories to honor her.

“There’s no death, there’s only the force.”

That’s what the Jedi believed. You never truly die, you only become one with the force.

Breathe in, breathe out.

“Sir, we reached the orbit of Coruscant. We’ll be arriving on the surface in twenty minutes”, the voice of a clone pilot announced through the commlink on his wrist. Alec raise his arm and pressed the button before he spoke: “Thank you, Captain.”

He got up from the floor and straightened the light brown material of his Jedi robe, before reattaching his lightsaber on his weapon belt. For a moment, his hands linger over Master Trueblood’s lightsaber on his desk.

Breathe in, breathe out.

 

The ramp opened and Alec was blinded by the bright sunlight of Coruscants days as soon as he left the ship. He covered his eyes and blinked a few times to get used to the brightness. His eyes had just gotten used to the sunlight and he had identified the familiar towers of the Jedi temple, when something hit him. He stumbled backwards a few steps and smiled when he recognized his sister giving him a warm hug. He wrapped his arms around her and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“Hey”, he whispered into the raven hair they both shared. Isabelle let go of him and smiled brightly, Alec could feel the waves of joy coming from her trough the force, but there was a light shadow of sadness too.

“It’s good to see you again, dear brother”, she said. Months had passed since they had seen each other the last time. She still wore her dark wavy hair in a ponytail, her Padawan braid behind her ear falling down her shoulder.

“I can only say the same about you, Izzy”, he said still smiling.

She hugged him again and whispered: “I’m sorry about Master Trueblood.” Then she took a step back and guided him to the center of the landing area, where a few other Jedi Knights were standing. Alec recognized Master Branwell from afar, her blonde hair falling in a braid over her shoulders. They approached them and Alec inclined his head in respect.

“Master”, he greeted and looked at the foreign Jedi next to Master Branwell. He had dark skin and eyes that seemed to hold all the kindness of the galaxy.

“Alec, it’s good to see you again”, she answered with her warm voice: “We heard about Master Trueblood. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“She is one with the force now”, added the man and Alec nodded thankful.

“I don’t think we’ve met before. Luke Garroway”, said the Jedi: “You’re the Alec Lightwood I heard so much about.”

Alec frowned in confusion and looked at Izzy, who gave him an apologetic smile. He rolled his eyes at her before turning back to Master Garroway.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Master”, he said and added: “Master Starkweather said the Council wanted to see me.”

“The Council is in an important meeting at the moment, they will talk to you later”, Luke answered. Alec nodded in understanding, when he heard someone call his name. A blond boy came running to them, his steps resonating in the air. Isabelle giggled next to Master Branwell and Alec couldn’t help but smile.

“Alec!”, the boy screamed again, voice full of joy and stopped right in front of them, his breath heavy from running.

“Alec, hey. Sorry I’m late. Was in the library, lost track of time”, he brought out between heavy breaths and Alec put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s good to see you too, Jace”, he said and smiled fondly at the blond.

“We’ll leave you then”, Master Garroway said, a warm smile tugging on his lips and indicated Master Branwell to follow him.

“Remember that we’ll be leaving tonight, Isabelle”, she said to her Padawan, before leaving the three of them alone.

“You’re going on a mission again?”, Alec asked, brows furrowed. Izzy nodded and looked at him.

“Stop that”, she said.

“What?”, he asked confused and she pointed at his hand, running up and down his Padawan braid.

“You always do that when you’re worried or overthinking. I’ll be fine”, she stated and he let out a deep sigh. He reached out to take her hand in his, looking for comfort in the gesture. She must have felt his emotions, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I don’t want to talk about the war”, Alec said: “Not now. For now I just want to enjoy the peace.” _Or at least the illusion of that,_ he added not speaking out his thoughts.

“Sounds like a good plan to me”, Jace said, his bi-colored eyes shining with mischief, that got him into problems more than once. Alec smiled, he may have left behind his friends, but now he was with his family.

Maybe one day they could enjoy real peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theory time!  
> Who's Alec's new Master?  
> Leave ideas in the comments!
> 
> Btw my name is Chori.  
> I'm gonna try my best to make this as interesting and less messy as possible ^^' 
> 
> I'm trying to beta this myself so I'm sorry if I overlooked something. 
> 
> Kuddos and Feedback of any kind are appreciated!
> 
> Also to all of you guys who have Twitter KEEP TWEETING FOR OUR SHOW!!  
> We won't give up that easily!!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @ chorifoxash


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Padawan Lightwood, the Council is ready for you”, the Temple Guard announced and Alec nodded, stepping into the Council’s chamber.  
> -  
> A new Master, an old face and a possible new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating! I actually wanted to post this yesterday but things got in the way.  
> Anyways, enjoy!

“Padawan Lightwood, the Council is ready for you”, the Temple Guard announced and Alec nodded, stepping into the Council’s chamber.

Huge windows let the room be filled with the light of the sinking sun, the twelve chairs surrounding him were all facing Alec and shifted a little uncomfortable under the eyes of the twelve Jedi Masters. He recognized Luke sitting in one of the seats and wondered how he had never noticed him before.

“Step closer, Padawan”, a small alien with deep green skin and big ears said and he obeyed.

“Surprised you are, that you are here?”, the same alien asked and Alec shook his head.

“No, Master Yoda”, he answered truly, trying to keep his voice steady in front of the Grand Master and the rest of the Council.

“Mmmmhh…Scared, you are?”, the Grand Master asked curiously.

“No, Master. I have no reason to”, Alec stated confused.

“I feel a conflict in you, young Padawan”, Master Herondale stated, her grey eyes scanning him with a calm that let a cold shiver run down Alec’s spine.

“Your Master. Her death, hurt you it did. Close you were”, Master Yoda said and he nodded slowly.

“Yes, Master. We were. She deserved better.”

“Revenge, you want?”, he asked, his eyes unreadable.

“No.”

“What do you feel?”, Luke chimed in from his seat and Alec turned his head.

“Sorrow. I miss her.”

“No”, Master Yoda protested: “Sorrow you feel, yes. But guilt also, responsible for her death you think you are.”

Alec didn’t know what to answer. Did he feel guilty about Master Trueblood’s death? He looked at the ground, unconsciously reaching for his Padawan braid. After what felt like an eternity of silence Master Yoda spoke again.

“Master Garroway, your new teacher will be. But to the battlefield you will not return, not now. When at peace with your mind you are, able you will be to go back.”

“Yes, Master.”

 

“Senator, we will be arriving on Coruscant in thirty minutes”, a female voice announced through Magnus’ com and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Thank you, Catarina. You know that we’ve known each other for years now, do you? You can call me Magnus, Senator or not”, he stated and heard a small snort coming from the Captain.

“I know, but you should know me good enough by now to know that I’m doing it on purpose, Senator”, she answered mockingly and Magnus rolled his eyes fondly, before deactivating his com.

Through the window in his room on the ship he could see the lights of Coruscant shining through the dark of Space. Magnus’ mind wandered to his home planet, where there was a war going on, the siege of the Separatist’s had stopped him from helping his people.  
Maybe he could help them here, in the heart of the Republic. Maybe the Senate would send his troops to help them. His home needed all the help they could get and they needed it as soon as possible.

It was their only hope.

 

He could feel the presence of his new master before he heard the knock on the door.

After the meeting with the Council Alec had gone back to his room in the temple. He had changed his robe, replaced the light brown fabric by darker brown and leather material. On his weapon belt was still hanging his lightsaber and he was holding Master Trueblood’s lightsaber in one of his hands, looking at it without being able to decide what to do with it.

He heard the air lock open with a hiss and a friendly voice call him.

“Can I come in?”, Master Garroway asked. Alec let the arm with the lightsaber drop to his side and turned around to face the door. The other Jedi was wearing the long traditional Jedi coat and had his hands folded delicately in front of him.

“I am going to meet an old friend of mine. He’ll be arriving on Coruscant soon, I thought I’ll let you know”, he said, without waiting for an answer: “Feel free to join me if you’re ready.”

He turned around to leave the room when Alec called his name. The Jedi hesitated and turned his head.

“I’ll be coming with you”, he announced and looked hesitantly at the lightsaber in his hand: “I… I think I should give this to you.” He held out the lightsaber to his Master and a fond smile flashed over Luke’s features.

“Keep it”, he said: “I don’t need it, but you do.”

Alec’s eyes widened in surprise and he pulled his hand back, looking first at him, then at the lightsaber and back at him again.

“Master, I…”, he started, but Master Garroway cut him of: “Speeder is waiting outside, I’d say you better hurry.”

He left the room and Alec placed the lightsaber on his desk, before quickly grabbing his coat and following him through the door.

He reached Master Garroway in the hallway and noticed just now, that they were walking side by side, that he was slightly taller than the older Jedi.

Luke turned his head to look at him, a fond smile tugging on his lips.

Alec missed Master Trueblood.

But he already knew he could trust Master Garroway.

 

When they reached the landing platform, Alec could already see the ship flying in their direction. It was a beautiful spaceship, it’s outer shell decorated with ornaments from a different world.

Master Garroway hadn’t told him who this “old friend” was, but he seemed to be some kind of Representative.

“A Politician”, Alec thought, suppressing the desire to roll his eyes, “Great, this can only be boring.”

The wind caused by the landing turbines ruffled through Alec’s untamable raven hair and let the coats of the two Jedi wave behind them. Alec realized just now that the ornaments of the ship were carved into the shell.

The ramp on the bottom of the ship opened and a pale man, paler than Alec considered healthy, left the ship. Alec instantly noticed the blaster in his thigh holster and he was almost a hundred percent sure that this man was everything but a Politician. He moved like a soldier, not like the clones who were trained to kill, more like somebody who had been trained to protect something. Or somebody.

The man scanned the perimeter with his eyes, instantly noticing the Jedi. He nodded respectful and then Alec saw another man coming down the ramp.

He was young, probably in Alec’s age, had caramel skin that shined in the brightness of the sun and Asian features. His dark hair was styled into a Mohawk, dark blue streaks reflecting the sunlight and matching perfectly with the long silk shirt he was wearing. Alec recognized the ornaments of the ship embroidered into the shirt with golden yarns. But what fascinated him the most were the man’s brown eyes, which seemed to shimmer golden in the sunlight.

The man was beautiful.

And Alec knew exactly that he wasn’t allowed to think like that.

The Asian man approached them, followed closely by the first man.

“Master Garroway!”, he said cheerful: “It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“Senator Bane”, greeted Luke with the kind smile he always seemed to wear on his face: “I can only say the same.” Turning to Alec he added: “This is my Padawan, Alec Lightwood. Alec, this is Magnus Bane, Senator of Pandemonium.”

The Senator smiled at him and for a few seconds Alec’s mind went blank. His smile lit up his entire face and he doubted that he had ever witnessed something so beautiful. But there was still a sad spark lingering in them.

To Alec’s luck the Senator spoke first: “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Padawan Lightwood. I’ve always been a friend of the Jedi, hopefully I’ll be able to say the same about you soon.”

“The pleasure is mine, Senator. I’m sure we’ll get along well”, he said smiling sheepishly: “And please, call me Alec.” He was surprised nobody else could hear the racing beat of his heart slamming against his ribcage.

“Then call me Magnus”, the Senator answered and gave Alec another of those blinding smiles: “I insist.”

Alec nodded smiling and his eyes lingered on Magnus a second too long before Luke chimed in.

“I heard what happened on your world”, he said and Magnus turned to face the Jedi: “I’m sorry.”

“With all due respect, Master Jedi I am not here for compassion. I am here to change the situation on my planet”, said Magnus, the smile suddenly disappearing and being replaced by a stern mask. Only through the force Alec could feel the many emotions coming from the Senator.

Sorrow, anger, powerlessness. Hate.

He was taken aback by the strong feeling, something Jedi were trained to control.

“Never let your emotions control you”, had Master Trueblood always said: “Keep a clear mind and let the force guide you.”

“Of course”, Master Garroway answered, clearly feeling the emotions of the Senator, just like Alec: “I hope the Senate will listen to your call.”

Magnus let out a tired sigh and said: “Me too, old friend. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus met! Yippie!
> 
> Magnus is such a complex character I really hope I'm gonna get him right ^^' Plus his and Alec's chemistry is so hard to put into words but I'm gonna try my best to get all the characters right.
> 
> Who of you thought Luke was Alec's new Master? Tell me if you got it right in the comments! I love Garrowbane as brotp I couldn't resist, sue me. 
> 
> Kuddos and feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @ chorifoxash


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked up at the Senate building once more and took a deep breath.
> 
> Here we go.
> 
> \--
> 
> Bonding, creepy politicians and a planet under siege.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya fellas!  
> It seems like I unconsciously started a routine to post every second week but I won't promise that I'll keep it that way.  
> Enjoy!

Luke guided them to a speeder, waiting at the edge of the landing platform. Raphael had insisted in coming with them, even though Magnus didn’t understand why. But he usually didn’t understood why Raphael did things so there was no point in trying.

Raphael sat next to Luke in the front seats, while Magnus sat down next to Alec in the back. He secretly observed the Padawan and couldn’t deny the fact that he was incredibly handsome. The dark leather of his Jedi robe accentuating his shoulder and not even the wide robe could hide his strong body. His hazel eyes seemed to have a different color, depending on how they caught in the sunlight and his raven hair was messy like he hadn’t even tried to tame it.

In another galaxy, Magnus would’ve flirted with him, tried to seduce the beautiful man, but the Padawan braid falling down his shoulder was a constant reminder that everything they would ever be was just friends.

There wouldn’t be any more.

There couldn’t be.

Alec turned his head to look at Magnus and he quickly looked away. Dammit.

“Everything alright?”, he asked and Magnus forced himself to look at Alec again, finding genuine concern in his gorgeous hazel eyes.

“Think, Magnus”, he thought slightly panicking: “Think quickly.”

“I’ve just never met a Padawan before”, he answered and it wasn’t even a lie.

“Good, not perfect but good”, he thought relieved and focused his attention back on Alec, who looked at him surprised.

“Really?”, he asked and Magnus nodded. He seemed to think a bit about it before saying: “I can imagine that it seems… strange to live the live I do.”

“Especially considering the fact, that we’re the same age”, added Magnus: “Even though I probably hadn’t had the normal idea of a childhood either.”

“How so?”, asked Alec, cocking an eyebrow in surprise.

Magnus couldn’t help but smirk. “You don’t get to be Senator at the age of twenty-four with a normal childhood”, he answered: “Trust me.”

A silence settled between them and Magnus let the sounds of Coruscant invade his mind. The sounds of the ships on the airways, the sound of a horn echoing in his head, the smell of the city, of thousands of different species, the unique smell of Coruscant. Suddenly a voice made its way into his mind.

“Would you like to change it?”, asked Alec and he turned his head surprised to look at the Padawan.

“Change what?”, he asked confused. Alec had turned his head to look at the spaceships surrounding them, his eyes fixed somewhere on the horizon.

“Your life. The life you have lived and are living. Would you change it if you could?”, he repeated casting his eyes away to look at him. Magnus was surprised by that question.

“I-I don’t know. I don’t think so”, he stuttered: “My life wasn’t always easy, but I like myself the way I am. If I would’ve lived a different life I’d be a different person.” He felt like Alec’s hazel eyes could see through the walls he had built around himself, straight into his very soul and it scared him a bit.

“Would you do it?”, he asked curios.

“No, I wouldn’t”, Alec answered without an ounce of hesitation.

Magnus casted a quick glance to Luke, who was focused on his conversation with Raphael, before leaning closer to Alec and whispering: “Is that what you were trained to say or is that what you really think?” He knew that the Jedi were very cautious when it came to people who didn’t agree with their ways, but at the same time refused to believe that they would never be betrayed by their own.

Something the past had proven wrong.

It was the only reason they were fighting this goddamn war.

Confusion flashed through Alec’s eyes before he answered: “No, w-why should they? I wouldn’t change my life. It’s hard and it’s dangerous, but I don’t know who I would be without the Order.”

Magnus knew that the Jedi took their recruits as babies from their parents, the Younglings not even being able to remember them. He respected the Jedi and their traditions, but ripping a child out of his mother’s arms, without her knowing if she would ever see them again was cruel. Traditions be dammed.

They never experienced something like paternal love.

Magnus was just about to ask Alec about it, when Master Garroway turned around and announced: “We arrived.”  
Alec looked up, just as surprised as Magnus, to see the Senate building rising into the sky above them.

The four left the speeder when it landed on the landing area and Alec climbed out before Magnus, surrounding the speeder and offering him his hand to help him out.

Magnus blinked surprised before smiling and taking Alec’s hand in his, the touch sending small shivers down his spine. If he was honest to himself he felt flattered by that simple gesture, probably because it was coming from someone like Alec.

The skin of his hands was rough, marked from all the battles he had fought, but at the same time the touch had something gentle and careful, like Magnus’ hand had been made of the most beautiful materials in the galaxy. As if it was an honor to touch them

As soon as the Padawan’s hand left his own, Magnus felt himself missing the touch, the feeling of his warm skin against his own.

He looked up at the Senate building once more and took a deep breath.

Here we go.

 

Alec was standing next to master Garroway in one of the passages that led to the floating platforms in the senate hall. Magnus had taken seat in the platform in front of them and was talking to the pale man, which had turned out to be his security head called Raphael.

A cold breeze made its way to them and he tugged his coat closer around him, suppressing a shiver. In the past, he wouldn’t have minded but ever since he came back from the front he couldn’t help but always feel a bit cold.

“Are you alright?”, Master Garroway asked, a brow furrowed in concern.

“Yes, I’m fine”, Alec answered turning his head to look at him. He thought he could see Magnus turning his head in their direction from the corner of his eye, concern leaving him in waves.

Or was it just wishful thinking?

“It’s just… I guess I’m still not used to Coruscant’s temperatures”, he explained focusing back on Master Garroway. He let out a small laugh and placed a hand on the Padawan’s shoulder.

“I guess Coruscant isn’t as warm as Sandria. You’ll get used to it again, don’t worry”, he said and a smile tugged on Alec’s lips. He turned his head in Magnus direction again and caught the Senator’s eyes on him, the man looking at Raphael again quickly.

 A loud gong announced the beginning of the meeting and silence settled in the Senate hall. Alec observed Magnus taking in his place behind the control pad. Alec stayed next to Master Garroway in the passage and observed how a tower emerged from the bottom of the hall. Sitting in it were Vice Chair Malachi Dieudonne, a man in his later mid-years with grey hair that seemed to have been of a dark color when he had been young, on the other side of the tower sat another politician Alec had never seen before and in the middle of the tower sat Supreme Chancellor Valentine Morgenstern himself.

As always when Alec saw the Chancellor he felt a cold shiver running down his spine. He was younger than Malachi, had a bald head and his dark eyes seemed to watch straight into your soul by burning the skin of your body.

It was terrifying.

Thundering applause erupted in the hall and Morgenstern seemed to savor the moment before raising his hand, asking for silence.

Alec glanced in Magnus direction and noticed that the Senator seemed everything but happy seeing Morgenstern.

“Please, my friends, you are always too kind”, said the Chancellor with such fake modesty Alec was surprised no one noticed.

“We gathered here today to listen to the people suffering under this war. Pandemonium is under siege by the Separatist army and it’s our duty to do everything in our power to help them”, he made a dramatic pause to let his words sink in. Again a cold shiver ran down Alec’s spine and he tugged his coat impossibly closer around him.

“Senator Magnus Bane, is going to represent his home planet and the people there”, Morgenstern announced and the platform Magnus was standing on floated near the centre of the circle. Alec felt a mix of emotions coming from him, when the Senator took a deep breath before speaking.

“My friends, colleagues, Chancellor, I stand before you as the Representative of my people and I won’t be blind to the facts. My people are suffering.”

He pressed a button on the control pad and a holo projection lit up. A series of different images showed, every single one full of destruction.

A city, smoke coming from the streets and the houses. Half of the houses were destroyed.

The picture changed.

A field, the once green grass turned into an ugly yellow, some patches burning.

A new picture.

Dozens of starships landing on the planet, droids are leaving their exits. Alec gasped, he had never seen so many droids before. Not even on Sandria where the Separatists had basically taken over the entire planet.

Magnus started to speak again and he could hear the pain these pictures caused in his voice.

“I not only stand before you as a Senator. I stand before you as a refugee. I had to leave my home planet for my own safety or the Separatists would’ve killed me, just like they killed my mother. These are pictures from my planet. Most of our people are farmers, unable to defend themselves. We aren’t enough warriors to fight them on our own! The Separatists have cut off the supply routes, we are running low on medicine and even lower on food. 

My people are dying, so I beg you Senate, the most powerful people of the Republic, I beg you help my people. Help my world.

We won’t be able to fight them without your troops!

Save those who can’t save themselves!”

Magnus let out a shaky breath and Alec quickly blinked away the tears that had appeared in his eyes. He was touched by the emotional speech.

“I ask the Senate and the Republic for their troops to save my world. Thank you”, Magnus mumbled the last part and some Senators applauded cautiously. Alec could feel tons of emotions waving through the Senate and he figured that most of the Representatives didn’t knew how to react to a speech like that.

“Thank you for this beautiful speech”, said Morgenstern, from his place in the tower.

“We’ll be discussing the fate of Pandemonium in the next meeting”, explained the Chancellor and added: “Senator Orn Free Taa will be talking about the situation on his home planet Ryloth…”

“What?”, Magnus cut in: “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Your world isn’t the only one suffering under the war, Senator”, Malachi said coldly, but Magnus decided to ignore him.

“With all due respect, Chancellor. I understand the needs of the others, but most of them already received military assistance or some other kind of aid. We are in desperate need of help…”, he was cut off by Raphael gently tugging his sleeve and shaking his head barely noticeable.

Morgenstern used the chance to chime in: “Senator, I understand your worries, but I guarantee you that we’ll do everything in our power to help your people as soon as possible.”

A mask of disbelief flashed across Magnus’ features, before he quickly composed himself and pressed a button to guide the platform back to where it came from. When Magnus’ platform docks on to the passage, where Alec and Master Garroway are still standing, Alec can feel the negative emotions coming from the Senator in waves. Magnus' hands were shaking with anger and his shoulders were tense.

Alec felt the inexplicable urge to hug Magnus, to tell him that everything is going to be alright and that they will help his people, but he couldn’t. It was also totally illogical, why would he feel so close to a man he just met?

Magnus sat next to Raphael and the pale man had a comforting arm around his shoulder for the rest of the meeting.

Alec tried to focus on what the other Senators where saying, but all he could think about was Magnus who sat next to Raphael, helplessness painted all over his features.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really happy with Magnus' speech but I rewrote it like 3 times and I couldn't think of anything better so yeah...
> 
> Now for my Star Wars geeks reading this (if there are any): Who of you realized I made Sandria up?  
> Tell me in the comments! 
> 
> I never know what to write here abdahgsdvanbbdh >.<
> 
> Kuddos and feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @/chorifoxash


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the meeting ended, Magnus wanted nothing more than to get out of the building as fast as possible. He walked down the corridors, followed by Raphael, Luke and Alec. 
> 
> Alec. 
> 
> \--
> 
> A little redhead, flashbacks and family time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
> I'm currently at my grandma's for summer break and the wifi sucks a bit so let's see if this even posts.  
> If it does,  
> Enjoy!
> 
> P.S. I'm super insecure about the ptsd tag cause idk if I'm gonna do it right and I don't wanna offend anyone aslkhslky

After the meeting ended, Magnus wanted nothing more than to get out of the building as fast as possible. He walked down the corridors, followed by Raphael, Luke and Alec.

Alec.

Magnus could’ve sworn he had seen worry in the eyes of the Padawan, but it was probably just what his training taught him. Or it was pity, Magnus didn’t know what was worse.

“Magnus! Magnus Bane!”, called a feminine voice and Magnus could spot the familiar red hair in front of him.

“Clary Fairchild! It’s good to see you again”, greeted Magnus the young Senator.

Clary was a young girl with fiery red hair and an amazing talent when it came to art. She was the Senator of Idris, since she had followed the footsteps of her mother.

She hugged Magnus and he breathed in her familiar smell. She took a step back and looked up at him.

“I’m sorry about Pandemonium”, she said: “I’ll do everything in my power to bring the Chancellor to help you. I wish I could do more to help.”

Magnus smiled fondly at the girl and sighed: “Thank you, biscuit. We’ll need all the help we can get.”  
She smiled and looked behind him, just now noticing his companions.

“Raphael”, she greeted and added excited: “Luke!” The Jedi Master smiled at her and Raphael answered with a respectful nod. Luke proceeded to introduce Clary to Alec and Magnus watched the Padawan when he smiled sheepishly at her.

“Hi Magnus”, said another familiar voice and Magnus turned around to find Simon, the Representative of Idris and Clary’s best friend, smile at him.

“Hello Sheldon, it’s nice to see you again”, he said and the younger looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.

“Sheldon? Really?”, he asked and Magnus chuckled amused. Simon rolled his eyes and went to greet Raphael.

Magnus turned around again and his eyes met Alec’s. For a split second, he could see fondness in his beautiful hazel eyes, before the Padawan quickly looked away. The moment was so brief that Magnus was left wondering if he didn’t imagine it.

 

Alec quickly focused his attention back to Master Garroway and Senator Fairchild. A hot blush was creeping up his neck and he could feel his heart race in his chest.

He couldn’t believe he just got caught staring at Magnus freaking Bane.

“How are you doing, Clary?”, Master Garroway just asked and the little redhead shrugged.

“I’m fine. I miss my mum, but it doesn’t hurt that much anymore”, she answered, a sad smile on her lips. Alec could feel her grief through the force.

“I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mother was a dear friend”, said Garroway and gave the Senator a brief hug. She smiled and turned to Alec.

“I don’t think we’ve met already. I’m Clarissa Fairchild, call me Clary”, she said. She wasn’t older than nineteen and a few inches smaller than Alec.

“Padawan Alec Lightwood”, he bowed slightly in front of her: “To your service, Sen- Clary.” She chuckled quietly and he gave her a small friendly smile.

He heard Magnus laugh and suppressed the urge to look at him, to see if he was smiling one of his amazing smiles again.

“Alec lost his Master on the battlefield and is now my apprentice”, explained Master Garroway and Clary’s eyes widened slightly.

“By the Angel, I’m so sorry. I heard that the bond between Master and Padawan is unique”, she said and gently placed her hand on his arm.

Master Garroway cleared his throat and Alec couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on his face. Clary shot him a kind of apologetic smile.

Suddenly Master Garroways com started beeping and he excused himself, leaving the group. Alec was left alone with Clary and noticed a fond shimmer in her eyes when she watched Master Garroway. That kind of fondness you feel for a family member or parent.

“Are you close?”, asked Alec. Clary looked at him surprised and he repeated his question: “Master Garroway and you. Are you close?”

“He and my mum were good friends, he knows me since I was a little girl”, she said and Alec looked questioning at her. She hadn’t answered his question and they both knew it.

“Yeah, he’s a close friend. Maybe the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father”, she said and he didn’t know how to react. The Jedi-Codex prohibited any kind of romantic bond, but Alec didn’t know anything about developing parental love to anybody. Also he didn’t even know if Master Garroway saw the daughter he never could have in Clary.

But he didn’t say any of those thoughts out loud.

“What about your real father?”, he asked instead.

“I don’t know anything about him. My mother never told me anything and eventually I stopped asking”, she answered and looked up at him.

“What about your parents?”, she asked.

“I don’t know who they are. I don’t remember them. The Order recruits us when we’re still babies”, he stated and Clary’s eyes widened slightly.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t knew that. That was probably so rude, forgive me”, she apologized and Alec shook his head smiling.

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t rude at all”, he said and she sighed relieved.

Alec’s mind wandered to the place it usually went when he started to think about his parents, to the questions that build up inside of his mind through the years.

Who were they?

Are they still alive?

What people are they?

Are they warriors? Farmers? Smugglers?

Do they know he’s alive?

Do they miss him?

Do they miss Izzy?

Could you miss somebody you have never met?

Alec couldn’t answer any of them. He knew he had met his parents and spend at least one year of his life with them and Izzy but he didn’t remember them. Nothing about them. Every time he started digging for memories in his brain he felt like he was falling into a dark hole.

Master Garroway ripped him out of his thoughts.

“Alec, we’re going back to the temple. We have a meeting about the sieges in the Outer Rim”, he said and Alec blinked a few times clearing his mind to focus on the new task. He nodded and his Master turned to the young Senator.

“It was good to see you again, Clary”, he placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze: “I hope we’ll see each other again soon. May the force be with you.”

“You too”, she answered before turning to Alec: “It was an honor to meet you, Padawan Lightwood.”

“The honor was mine, Clary”, he said and she left them alone.

Alec’s eyes wandered to Magnus, who was now talking to Raphael. The golden embroidery of his silk shirt reflecting the light of the halls. His hair was still in a perfectly styled Mohawk and Alec was wondering how he managed to keep it like that. It almost seemed like Magic.

And those eyes. Alec could get lost in Magnus beautiful brown eyes.

“Alec”, called Master Garroway, who had already started walking down the hallway away from the group. He quickly caught up to him and walked next to him through the hallways, back to the Jedi temple.

 

Sandria.

Everywhere Alec looked, dirt and dust. His light brown robe had taken a reddish stain from it. His raven hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat and his face was full of dirt.

A loud explosion ripped through the air and suddenly he was surrounded by clone troopers.

His battalion. The sounds of screams and blasters surrounded him and he felt his heart hammer in his chest, adrenaline running through his veins.

He could catch a glimpse of Master Trueblood in the front, her blue lightsaber cutting through one droid after another.

He quickly detached his own lightsaber from his belt and let the green blade light up. He made his way through the troopers to his Master, but he didn’t seem to come closer. No matter how much he ran, she always stayed out of his reach.

He felt the fear rising in him. He couldn’t do anything to help her. Surrounded by the clones he felt like he was going to suffocate.

Suddenly everything went silent. The troopers around him disappeared and he could see Master Trueblood, still out of his reach fighting the droids all on her own. The sounds of the battlefield vanished and a terrifying silence hung in the air. All Alec could hear was his heavy breath and his heart pounding against his rib cage so much it hurt.

The sound of a single blaster shot disrupted the silence and ripped a hole through Master Trueblood’s chest. Her body collapsed on the ground, her lightsaber deactivating as soon as it hit the ground.

Alec screamed her name, but his voice didn’t seem to work. The droids surrounded her corpse and started firing at her motionless body.

Tears of anger and desperation were burning in his eyes.

All of a sudden the ground disappeared under his feet and Alec let out a stifled cry before falling into the void. Master Trueblood’s voice was echoing through the suffocating black.

“Alec. Why did you disappoint me?”

With a loud gasp Alec sat up straight in his bed. His breath was hitching in his throat, sweat dripping from his forehead and sticking his raven hair to it.

With wide eyes he looked around, recognizing the silhouettes of his room in the temple. His shirt was damped in sweat and sticking to his body.

Alec took in a few sharp breaths, trying to calm himself down. He could still hear Master Trueblood’s voice in his head.

His whole body was trembling. He tried to take a few deep breaths to get his emotions under control again, but it felt like somebody was clenching his throat making him unable to breath normally. Fear started creeping through his body and it took Alec everything not to be overwhelmed by it.

“It’s just a dream”, he whispered to himself, running his hand up and down his Padawan braid: “It’s just a dream. It’s not real. C’mon Alec.”

But there was this tiny voice in the back of his head asking him:

Was it really just a dream? Was the disappointment truly not real?

Would she still be proud of him after what he’d done, or rather not done?

He was alone in his room, nothing but darkness surrounding him. He knew that Izzy’s room was just two doors down the corridor and that Jace’s was right next to his own. But something was stopping him from going to them.

They didn’t know what he felt, they wouldn’t understand.

Maybe he was being punished.

Maybe he deserved this punishment.

Still trembling and full of sweat he curled up in his bed again, too tired to care.

He couldn’t sleep, he feared the dreams.

Feared what sleep could bring him.

Master Trueblood’s voice kept echoing through his head.

_“Alec. Why did you disappoint me?”_

 

They were all sitting on the floor, books and data pads spread across the floor. Alec was reading through a data pad, while Jace was laying on the floor his head resting on a few books. The blonde kept throwing a small ball in the air with one hand and catching it with the same one again. Isabelle wore her hair in a braid, her Padawan braid falling over her shoulder as usual. Her mission had been taken over by someone else as Master Branwell had been needed in the temple. Alec wouldn’t admit it, but he was glad that she didn’t leave the day he arrived. He just got his little sister back he didn’t want to see her go so soon again.

They all weren’t wearing their coats and the lightsabers on their belts were on clear display.

The three had been giving the task to find out as much as possible about a separatist fraction that called themselves “The Circle”. Master Garroway had told them that it was the Circle that had Pandemonium under siege and Alec was eager to find out as much as he could, if that meant he could help Magnus.

So, the three of them had taken all the data pads and books they could find in the Jedi library and nestled in an isolated corner of the library.

Alec send a disapproving look to his friend, who didn’t seem to be too eager to find out anything about the Circle. The next time Jace threw the ball up in the air, Alec used the force and pulled the ball into his hand.

With a protesting exclamation Jace sat up and looked at Alec.

“What was that for? Give it back!”, he demanded.

Izzy tried to act uninterested, but Alec could feel her curiosity through the force.

“I won’t”, the older stated.

“Why?”, asked Jace.

“I won’t give it back, because you aren’t focusing on our task. We are supposed to be doing our research and not play around. Stop acting like a Youngling.”

“You’re such a buzzkill”, scoffed Jace: “You never had anything against a little fun. This is boring and I’m sure you probably know everything important about the Circle already.”

“This isn’t about me knowing things! You should have knowledge about the Circle as well”, argued Alec: “Now stop acting like a child and focus.”

“Yes, Master Lightwood”, murmured Jace sarcastic and Alec rolled his eyes.

Two standard weeks had passed since Alec had attended the Senate meeting with Master Garroway.

Two weeks since the last time he had seen Magnus.

Alec had asked his Master about the fate of Pandemonium, but the older didn’t have any new information for him. It seemed like the Senate hasn’t been able to decide whether to help them or not.

The com on Alec’s wrist started beeping and he stood up, brushing the dust from his robe. Jace looked up from his data block and frowned.

“Where are you going?”, he asked.

“I have training with Master Garroway. Iz, I sent you the data I collected, you just have to put it together with the rest you found and give the file to Master Branwell”, he answered.

“So, you’re letting us do all the paperwork?”, asked Izzy and Alec gave her an apologetic smile.

“I see you later, guys”, he said and gave Iz a quick kiss on her head, before leaving the library.

On his way out a young Padawan caught his attention. She was about fourteen, she wore her dark hair at shoulder length and was standing on her tiptoes, trying to reach for a book. Alec smiled softly and came up behind her.

“Need a hand?”, he asked and reached over her head for the book. He held it out to her and she looked challenging at him.

“I could’ve gotten that myself. I’m not a Youngling anymore”, she said and he answered gesturing to her Padawan braid, that was partly hid by her hair: “I noticed.”

Her eyes widened a little in surprise and she took the book from his hand.

“Jess! What’s taking so long? You need help?”, called a voice.

“Thank you”, said Jess to Alec, before turning around and calling: “I’m coming, Leigh!”

She nodded at him and disappeared running through the library.

Alec couldn’t help but smirk, the girl reminded him a bit of Izzy. A fighter, wanting to prove that they were just as strong as anybody else. Still smiling he left the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Lightwood siblings quality time (Jace is a Lightwood fight me)  
> Clary and Simon finally made an appearance as well!  
> Love me some Clalec BROTP they're awesome and Luke is the best dad.
> 
> Question: What kind of people do you think Alec and Izzy's parents are? I'm not planning on bringing them up in the story (at least at the moment) but I'm curious if any of you guys have any theories!
> 
> Also featured in this chap are two of my best friends Jess and Leigh as Padawans!  
> Go check them out on insta!  
> Leigh @/malecwarlock  
> Jess @/malecsteles  
> (I still haven't figured out the link thing ^^')
> 
> Kuddos and feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @/chorifoxash  
> Also feel free to yell at me on my sarahah (link in my insta bio)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No one will help us”, said Catarina: “Let’s face it Magnus, for Morgenstern we’re just one planet in a million. He doesn’t care about us and the Jedi can’t send us any troops without the approval of the Senate. We’re on our own.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Angst, a bonding moment, more angst and a mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Posting? Can you believe?  
> Sorry for not posting so long I had a lot of stuff going on and didn't get to write much.  
> So to make it up to you guys you're getting a chap that's a bit longer than usual!  
> Enjoy!

“I can’t believe the Chancellor still hasn’t decided anything!”, Cat exclaimed. Magnus was in his quarters with his friends and Catarina was walking up and down in front of the couch he was sitting on. Her blue skin seemed to glow of anger and her white hair flew in all directions, everytime she moved her head.

“Doesn’t he understand in what danger they are?”, she said: “Our people are dying and the Senate doesn’t seem to care at all!”

“You forget that we have friends Catarina. People who are fighting for our case. Clary- “, Magnus started saying, but he was interrupted by his captain.

“With all due respect Magnus, she’s just a girl that was thrown into this position far too young. And I doubt that a few Senators will be able to change the Chancellors mind.”

Magnus stood up from his place on the couch, the wide fabric of his clothes swirling around his body.

“Clary might seem very young, but she is a strong woman and a very capable politician. She wasn’t thrown into her position, she fought to be able to serve her people”, he argued. Catarina stopped her pacing and looked at him with a mixture of surprise and anger. Magnus sighed and his shoulders slumped, before letting himself fall back on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you”, he said: “It’s just- The past days have been rough for all of us. I understand your worries, Cat but at the moment all we can do is assemble as many friends as possible around us and put pressure on the Chancellor.”

“What about the Jedi?”, asked Raphael from where he was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“I’m afraid the Jedi won’t be able to help us”, he answered and a frown appeared on the other man’s face.

“No one will help us”, said Catarina: “Let’s face it Magnus, for Morgenstern we’re just one planet in a million. He doesn’t care about us and the Jedi can’t send us any troops without the approval of the Senate. We’re on our own.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say. He wanted to reassure her, tell her to have faith, but he was losing faith himself.

 

Alec was sitting on the carpet, legs crossed, eyes closed, his lightsaber laying on the floor in front of him. He could feel Master Garroway’s presence through the force right next to him. The force signature of his Master had gotten so familiar to him that he could feel him anywhere.

The elder had called him for some meditation because he wanted to talk to him, but ever since they entered the room they were occupying his Master hadn’t said a word.

“What’s bothering you?”, he suddenly asked and Alec was surprised.

It seemed like they were going to talk after all.

“I don’t know what you mean, Master”, he answered and Master Garroway scoffed.

“Don’t lie to me, Alec. I know that you’ve been tired these past days. I suppose you had trouble sleeping?”, he stated and Alec opened his eyes surprised.

“Eyes closed”, ordered Master Garroway and he shut them again before answering.

“Nothing serious, Master. Just… dreams. Nothing to worry about, I’m as rested as I have to be and ready for a mission.”

“Dreams, huh?”, repeated his Master: “What kind of dreams?”

For a second Alec considered not telling him, but he was his Master. Since the first day Alec had trusted him and Master Garroway had repeatedly shown him that he made the right decision in doing so, he wasn’t going to lose trust now.

“Nightmares, Master”, he answers and takes a deep breath: “I… I live through the same scenario again and again. I don’t know why.”

“Tell me what you see”, his Master said, his voice fond and caring. Alec could feel that Master Garroway was truly worried about him.

“I’m back on Sandria. First I’m alone, then there’s the Ad- 312th Battalion” Alec quickly corrected himself, not being sure if his Master knew the nickname the Battalion had given themselves.

“The Adamant Battalion, I’m aware of the nickname. I think it’s fitting for brave soldiers like them”, Master Garroway said and Alec was a little surprised he knew about the nickname.

“Please continue”, Master Garroway added and Alec focused back on what he had been telling.

“Well I’m there with the Battalion and I- I can see Master Trueblood. She’s in the front fighting alongside her soldiers, like she always did. The noises of the battlefield surround me and I try to get to her but… I can’t. No matter what I do I can’t get to her. Then suddenly everything goes quiet, the troops disappear and…”, Alec’s breath got stuck in his throat. He takes a deep breath to pull himself together and is suddenly grateful that he can’t see master Garroway’s face.

Jedis aren’t supposed to have emotional bonds of any kind with anyone. They’re not supposed to love and still. How can somebody bring two people in a close Master-Apprentice relation and expect them not to feel some kind of affection. It was unfair.

“I watch her die. Every time. I watch her die again and again and… I’m unable to do anything”, his lasts words were barely something above a whisper. He drops his head, hiding his face from Master Garroways gaze that he can clearly feel on him.

“You two were close. I understand how painful this loss has to be for you”, he said and Alec wanted to laugh in his face.

Everyone said they understood, but they couldn’t. No Jedi would be able to understand his pain. Alec didn’t felt like he had lost his Master, he felt like he had lost family.

He felt like he had lost his mother.

Again.

Master Trueblood was the closest thing he had ever had to a mother. He became her apprentice with fourteen years, a kid still believing in the good in people.

He had quickly learned that most people were ugly, with nothing good inside them, especially during war.

Master Trueblood had protected him, had taught him almost everything he knew and he had loved he like a mother.

The only mother he ever knew.

And now she was gone.

Tears were stinging in his eyes but he fought them back, not wanting to show Master Garroway how much this really affected him.

_There’s no death, there’s only the force._

 

That’s what the Jedi believed, what they taught.

_There’s no death, there’s only the force._

He felt someone grip his shoulder and snapped out of his thoughts. He looked up at Master Garroway, a worried expression painted across the man’s face.

“I’m fine”, Alec said before the elder could say anything: “I probably just need something to distract myself from it.”

The Padawan stood up, very aware that his behavior was childish and undisciplined, but he couldn’t stand Master Garroway’s gaze anymore.

“No, you don’t. You need to feel it and you need time to mourn”, answer the Jedi and Alec stopped dead in his tracks.

He could hear fabric rustle when his Master stood up behind him.

“I know that’s not what the Jedi usually teach but, I know from experience that it’s better to let yourself feel pain and loss than to push it away. It’s important to find a peaceful way to deal with it, but you can’t just push it away”, he said and Alec turned around slowly.

“That sounds like something a Sith would teach”, he said and Master Garroway shook his head, a small smile appearing on his face.

“No. A Sith would teach you how to turn that pain into hate and how to use that hate to gain more power. I am trying to teach you how to be at peace with yourself after losing a loved one”, he explained and Alec realized his mistake.

“I-I am so sorry, Master. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to imply that- “, the Padawan stuttered, but Master Garroway raised his hand to stop him.

“It’s alright. You’ve been through a lot”, he said, his eyes shining with the same kindness as always. Before Alec could answer anything he added: “Go rest, you’ll need your strength.”

“Yes, Master”, Alec said wondering what his Master meant. He extended his hand in the direction of his lightsaber, that was still laying on the floor. He reached out with the force, causing the lightsaber to fly into his hand. He attached the weapon to his belt, nodded in goodbye and left the room.

 

“You’re doing what?!”, yelled Cat in surprise: “Have you lost your mind for good?”

Magnus readjusted the sleeves of his shirt and glanced at Catarina’s reflection in the mirror. She was wearing her pilot uniform, a pair of brown trousers with black boots and a blue shirt with a brown jacket, the emblem of the pandemonian honor guard sewed onto the chest. Her white hair was in a thick braid falling down her shoulder and for a moment the imagine of a handsome young man with short raven hair and a single long braid appeared in Magnus’ mind. But Cat’s eyes weren’t hazel like his and right now her electric blue eyes were staring at him, a defiant look in them.

These past days they seemed to disagree on everything and Magnus didn’t like it even a little bit. They were close friends, almost like family and Magnus knew that that was the exact reason they were fighting. Catarina thought that he was going to do something stupid and felt the need to protect him, but Magnus wasn’t going to do anything stupid and therefore didn’t need her protection. And then there was this handsome Padawan with beautiful hazel eyes that he just couldn’t get out of his mind.

The Senator let out a deep sigh and turned around to his friend.

“I can’t keep sitting around doing nothing while my people are dying”, he simply stated, acting like her outburst wouldn’t affect him. But it did.

“What you’re planning to do is a suicide mission, Magnus! Don’t you understand that?”, Cat exclaimed: “Going back to Pandemonium? After everything we had to go through to escape? That’s insane!”

“I made my decision, Catarina and you won’t be able to change my mind”, said Magnus and proceeded to putting on his coat. Then he turned around again to look at himself in the mirror.

He was wearing a grey shirt, tight black trousers and a long wine red coat that had silver ornaments embroidered into the fabric.

“I’ve already sent a message to the Chancellor informing him about my decision”, he told her and he could hear Cat gasp loudly.

“You did what!?”, she yelled: “You should’ve told me, or Raphael, anyone! You have no right to make a decision like that on your own, Magnus.”

He turned around to her, head held up high and shoulders tense.

“Why? Why can’t I decide for myself if I’m going to risk my life or not?”, he asked. Cat looked at him wide-eyed, shocked by his answer.

“Because we’re family. Because we care if you’re going on a suicide mission or not!”, she said loudly and it took Magnus everything not to flinch.

She was right. He knew she was. But she wouldn’t understand why he had to do it.

His people were counting on him, his entire planet. They were all hoping for the help of the Republic and every day more of them were dying but Chancellor Morgenstern didn’t seem to care about that. And while his people were suffering Magnus was sitting here, in his huge apartment on Coruscant, far away from all the pain.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He felt like a traitor, a disappointment sitting around doing nothing while his people were dying.

“I will go back to Pandemonium, whether you like it or not. And if you’re not flying me back then I’ll find another way”, he said, leaving no room for more discussions. Catarina sighed in defeat, worry still plastered all over her face.

“I’ll fly you. You’ll have a better chance of not getting blasted from the sky if I do”, she said, her voice suddenly tired: “You don’t have to carry this burden alone, Magnus. It’s too much for one man.”

That’s what she would never understand. They couldn’t help him carry this burden. He was the Senator, he was supposed to represent his people in the Senate, this was his responsibility and if he failed…

It’d be on him, no one else. He’d be the only one that would have to make himself responsible for it.

He just wanted to protect Catarina and Raphael. Was that so hard to understand?

 

Alec was standing outside the Jedi Council’s chamber waiting to be let inside. A temple guard was standing next to the door, their mask hiding their face.

Alec had always found the temple guards a little scary. They wore masks and hoods that hid their identities and their robes covered their entire bodies. And they never seemed to feel anything, every time Alec reached out through the force he could feel nothing but calm radiating from them. Never something else.

It was intimidating.

Suddenly the com on the guard’s wrist beeped and they turned to Alec.

“Padawan Lightwood, the Council is ready for you”, they said and the Padawan moved towards the door leading to the chamber. The guard opened it and Alec found himself surrounded by the Jedi Council.

He stood in the middle of the circle of chairs, hands folded behind his back. The light of the sun shined brightly through the huge windows into the room.

“You wanted to see me, Masters”, Alec said and bowed his head in respect.

Master Garroway had taken his seat next to Master Yoda and flashed his Padawan his usual fond smile, but this time there seemed to be worry and tension laying underneath it.

“How do you feel?”, asked the Grand Master.

“I am confused, Master”, answered Alec truthfully. He had learned early that there was no point in lying to the Council. Especially not the Grand Master himself, he would recognize the lie instantly.

“I don’t know why the Council would want to talk to me”, the Padawan added.

“A mission for you we have”, said Master Yoda and Alec blinked surprised.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to go back to the battlefield?”, he asked.

“You aren’t”, answered Master Herondale and Alec turned his head to look at her questioning.

“Senator Bane has announced his return to his home planet Pandemonium”, explained Master Garroway: “His planet is a war zone, we cannot allow a Senator of his rank to go back without protection.”

Alec felt his heart beat faster at the mention of Magnus’ name and it took him everything not to start running his hand over his Padawan braid.

What was wrong with him? He barely knew Magnus and still only hearing his name caused such a reaction.

“Will we sent troops to help them?”, he asked, hoping that no one would notice his reaction.

“Troops send we will not”, answered Master Yoda.

“We can’t send any troops without the approval of the Senate and it doesn’t look like they’re going to decide anything anytime soon”, said Master Herondale slightly annoyed, earning a disapproving glance from Master Garroway.

“The Senator you will protect. Trust you he will and accept your presence”, said Master Yoda and Alec was seriously surprised.

“You want me to protect Senator Bane? From what? Do you believe he’s in danger?”, Alec asked.

“Some… people and especially the Circle will not be happy about him returning”, explained Master Garroway: “They’ll try to stop him from arriving alive. Senator Bane escaped Pandemonium once and he’s the last living descendant of the royal family. He’s a symbol of hope and the Circle will try everything to stop the Pandemonians to hope for their freedom.”

“Fear. Easier to control people it is when scared they are”, said Master Yoda, his voice deep and thoughtful: “When hope they have, fight they will. Everything to prevent that the Circle will do.”

The royal family. Alec didn’t even know Pandemonium had been a monarchy once. Or was it still? He wasn’t sure. What he was sure about was that this mission seemed to be very important and Alec was doubting himself. With his nightmares, maybe he wasn’t the best choice for this. Maybe they should send someone who was better for this mission.

“Doubting you are?”, asked Master Yoda and Alec took a deep breath before answering: “With all due respect Master, maybe I’m not the best choice for a mission this important.”

He avoided Master Garroways eyes, but he could feel the waves of confusion coming from him. He half expected to feel disappointment but there wasn’t any.

Alec took a deep breath and focused on Master Yoda.

The Grand Master hummed before saying: “You believe ready you are not.”

“Yes, Master”, Alec answered in a lowered voice.

Master Yoda hummed again before saying: “Ready he is.”

“For the mission?”, asked Master Garroway unsure of what Master Yoda was referring to.

“Yes and no. Ready for the mission he is not”, answered Master Yoda and Alec lowered his head ashamed.

“But ready for the trials he is”, added the Jedi and the Padawan’s head snapped up, eyes wide in surprise.

“What do you mean, Master?”, asked Master Herondale. The Grand Master looked directly at Alec while saying: “On your mission you should go. When come back you do, the trials await will you.”

Alec didn’t know what to say. His throat was dry and he took a deep breath to compose himself. He bowed down in front of the Grand Master.

“Thank you, Master. I won’t disappoint you”, he said and with a wave of his hand the Grand Master dismissed him.

 

The trials. That was everything Alec could think about. The trials. He was nervously running his fingers over his Padawan braid.

The Jedi trials were a series of tests every Padawan had to pass before achieving the Knighthood. If Alec would be able to pass the tests, he would be a Jedi Knight.

Jedi Knight Alec Lightwood. He still couldn’t believe that Master Yoda had said he was ready for it. Was he really? What if he wasn’t? What if he would fail?

Someone calling his name ripped him out of his thoughts.

“Alec!”, he turned around and saw Izzy running towards him. She stopped next to him, barely out of breath. She was wearing her coat and her lightsaber was clipped to her belt, her hair was in a ponytail and her Padawan braid was falling over her shoulder as usual.

“How was the meeting with the Council?”, she asked a small smile on her lips.

“Good”, he answered briefly and continued stroking his braid absently.

“Hey”, she said softly and put a hand on his arm, causing Alec to look at her: “Are you alright?”

“Yes, of course”, he answered, a little too quickly: “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know, you just seem… nervous. Like really, really nervous”, she said and let her hand slip down his arm to take his hand. For a split second Alec had to think back to when he had taken Magnus’ hand to help him out of the Speeder in front of the Senate building. He quickly pushed away the thought and focused back on Izzy.

“They gave me a mission”, he said, trying to sort his thoughts.

“What is so bad about that? I’ve never seen you so nervous because of a mission”, Iz said confused about her brother’s reaction. Alec shook his head.

“No, no it’s not because of the mission. It’s- “, he stopped and took a deep breath, forcing himself to stop running his hand up and down his Padawan braid: “After the mission I’m going through the trials.”

Izzy’s eyes widened in surprise and Alec couldn’t help but laugh. Now that he said it out loud it suddenly became even more real. He was going to go through his trials, he was going to become a Jedi Knight, something he had worked for his entire life.

Isabelle hugged him, pressing the air out of Alec’s lungs.

“Okay, slow down I can’t breathe”, Alec laughed out of breath and Isabelle looked up at him.

“Slow down? Are you kidding me? You get told you’ll be going through the trials and are telling me to slow down?”, she looked at him with the most offended look she could muster at the moment. He laughed and said: “I’ll have to pass them first, then we can celebrate.” She takes a step back, the smile fading from her face.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right”, she mumbles. Alec can feel her emotions but not say what it was exactly. Sadness? Worry?

“Hey, you alright?”, he asked softly, searching for her eyes to look at him: “Iz, what’s going on.”

“Master Branwell and I will be leaving tonight. We were assigned on a mission in the Outer Rim and it’s not sure when we’ll be back”, she answered, avoiding eye contact.

Alec and Izzy had always been very close growing up in the temple, some Jedi disagreed with the Council’s decision to let them grow up as siblings together and not separate them. Emotional bonds weren’t liked by some Jedi, they were convinced that it’d make the young Jedi more likely to turn to the dark side. But especially Izzy had never really cared about what other people said, Jedi or not.

The sibling had formed a bond through the force over the years, so Alec knew that she didn’t need to see him to know he was worried.

He took a deep breath and placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked him straight in the eyes, her hand wandering to his elbow.

“Take care of yourself”, he said and forced himself to a little smile: “And don’t do anything Jace would do.” She huffed out a little laugh and gave his elbow a reassuring squeeze.

“Don’t worry, I would never”, she said and smiled at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ever mention that I love Izzy's and Alec's sibling bond? Cause hell yeah I do!   
> I'm not sure if I like how this chap turned out but maybe it's just that I'm really insecure about the way I write the characters ^^''   
> I just don't want anyone to be too much out of character. 
> 
> Anyways I got school again and don't know how much I'll be able to write but I'll try my best to give you at least one update every month. 
> 
> Kuddos and feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @/chorifoxash  
> Also feel free to yell at me on my sarahah (link in my insta bio)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “First Izzy and now you too?”, whined Jace from his place on Alec’s bed: “You’re leaving me here all by myself! I don’t even recognize you anymore!”
> 
> \--
> 
> Brothers, Raphael is pissed and Malec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to write a little these days so here you go with another chap!  
> Enjoy!

“First Izzy and now you too?”, whined Jace from his place on Alec’s bed: “You’re leaving me here all by myself! I don’t even recognize you anymore!”

It took Alec everything not to laugh at that dramatic statement.

Isabelle had left the day before with Master Branwell and was now the stars know where in the Outer Rim. Alec was worried but he knew his sister, she could take care of herself and she had Master Branwell and an entire battalion of loyal soldiers with her. What could happen?

“You’re just jealous you don’t have a mission at the moment”, teased Alec, whose back was turned to Jace while he was collecting the things he had to take on his mission. He could hear Jace snort indignantly.

“Me? Jealous? Alec Lightwood I can’t believe you would assume something like that”, he answered, gasping dramatically.

Alec had to giggle at that and not even Jace could keep a straight face anymore. They both burst into laughter and Alec was reminded of the times when the three of them used to run around the temple, annoying the hell out of everyone. Memories of lighter times, when everything was easier.

Of less violent times.

Without war.

When they had calmed down again Jace let out a sigh and said: “But now seriously, dude. What is this mission about?”

“The Council wants me to protect a Senator that’s planning on returning to his home planet. What in this scenario is the equivalent to walking into a Sep basis”, answered Alec, clipping his lightsaber to his belt.

“Wow, that’s risky. Why the hell would you do something like that?”, asked Jace.

“I don’t know”, answered Alec distracted, his eyes focused on Master Trueblood’s lightsaber that was laying on the table in front of him.

Jace felt a change in his emotions through the force and leaned forward to see what Alec was looking at.

“Are you going to take it with you?”, the blond asked and Alec hesitated. He didn’t know if he wanted to take it with him. He sighed and grabbed the lightsaber without a second thought, placing it in his bag.

He turned around and saw a small smile on Jace’s lips, bi-colored eyes he’s known his entire life looking at him like he knew exactly what Alec was thinking.

They reminded him of another pair of eyes, beautiful brown ones.

He quickly pushed the image out of his mind and focused on Jace.

“What?”, he asked and earned a cocked eyebrow from his best friend.

“You know what”, he said, his voice without the usual cockiness lying underneath: “If you want to talk about it now would be the chance.”

“There’s nothing to talk about”, answered Alec, acting like he didn’t know exactly what Jace was talking about. He hadn’t spoken about Master Trueblood’s death to him and Izzy since the day he arrived.

“Why would there be something?”, he asked and Jace waved his hand in direction of his Padawan braid in lieu of an answer. Just now Alec noticed that his hand had been running up and down the braid the whole time. He dammed himself for that nervous gesture and picked up his bag that was laying on the floor.

“Listen, Jace”, he said already walking in the direction of the door: “I’m fine, I swear. You have nothing to worry about.” He turned around at the door looking at the other Padawan that was still sitting on his bed.

“And now get the hell out of my room”, he said and opened the door. Jace laughed and jumped off the bed. He placed his hand on Alec’s shoulder so they were both standing in front of the open door.

“Take care of yourself. And kick some ass”, he said and Alec knew it was supposed to sound lighter than it actually did.

“Don’t worry, I will”, he answered.

 

“Senator, there’s someone here to see you”, called Raphael from the living room and Magnus sighed. Ever since he had told Cat about his decision Raphael had been giving him the cold shoulder. Catarina was mad at him as well but Raphael was- a different deal. It wasn’t the first time he got mad at Magnus for bringing himself in danger and Magnus annoyed the hell out of his best friend on a daily-basis, but he had never seen Raphael that mad at him.

Magnus quickly checked himself up and down in the mirror. He was wearing some tight black pants, boots with silver studs, a dark top and a red jacket with black ornaments. His hair was styled in the usual Mohawk and he was wearing little make-up, the dark charcoal around his eyes bringing them out even more.

Pleased with his appearance the Senator stepped out of his chamber into the living room and was more than surprised when he saw the man standing next to Raphael.

He was taller than his security chef, messy raven hair that looked incredibly soft and a single thin braid falling over his shoulder. His hazel eyes focused on Magnus the second the Senator entered the room and Magnus breath caught a little in the back of his throat. In less than a second Magnus had himself back together and put on his most charming smile.

“Alec! It’s great to see you again. To what do I owe this pleasure?”, he asked and a wry smile appeared on the Jedi’s face.

“The pleasure is mine, Magnus”, he said: “I heard you were returning to your world.”

“That is true”, Magnus replied, aware that Alec had avoided the question. Before Magnus could say anything, Raphael said: “What do you think about that, Padawan? Magnus returning to Pandemonium.” Alec blinked surprised and seemed to be a little confused by the question, which gave Magnus enough time to react.

“Raphael, we already talked this through, you can’t change- “, he said but was interrupted by the pale man.

“I want to know what the Jedi thinks about this”, he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, giving Magnus a death glare that would’ve scared most people. But Magnus had known Raphael for what felt like forever. He knew how to read him and he also knew that his friend was worried about him.  

The security chef looked back at the Padawan, who seemed to be emotionless about their disagreement. He had his hands folded behind his back, the long Jedi robe almost touching the ground. Just now Magnus noticed the small bag standing at the Padawan’s feet.

“If you want my honest opinion, Senator”, he started and Magnus eyes darted up to his face, beautiful hazel seeming to look right into his very soul: “I have to agree with your security chef. It’s a bad idea to return to Pandemonium, especially without military backup.” Magnus opened his mouth to answer but Alec stopped him, by simply raising his hand.

“But I am not here to change your mind about leaving”, he said, his voice radiating nothing but calm: “Actually I am here to come with you. Of course, only with your agreement.”

“Why would you want to accompany us?”, asked Raphael, arms still crossed: “The Pandemonian guard is very capable of protecting their Senator themselves.”

“Raphael! That’s enough”, said Magnus angrily earning another death glare from his security chef before the latter left the room, leaving Alec and Magnus alone.

Alec looked after him and Magnus wasn’t quite able to define the emotions on his face. The Padawan remained a mystery to him, a mystery his mind wanted to solve at all cost.

“I apologize for him. He isn’t himself at the moment”, said Magnus, causing Alec to look back at him.

“I didn’t mean to offend him, I am the one who should apologize. I didn’t want to appear rude”, he answered and Magnus watched his hand unconsciously wander up and down his Padawan braid.

“No, don’t worry about it”, he said and gestured for the Padawan to take a seat on one of the big couches that decorated the room. Magnus sat on the couch across the Padawan that focused his eyes on Magnus’ face.

Alec’s hazel eyes held a warmth and honesty in them, that had moved Magnus to trust him in the first place.

Magnus cleared his throat and spoke: “So, you said you wanted to come with me to Pandemonium. Why? Doesn’t Master Garroway need you?”

“Actually Master Garroway was the one who sent me”, answered Alec, still playing around with the braid: “I’m here to protect you, for as long as needed.”

Alec would protect him. It took Magnus a second to realize what that meant. Alec would be by his side the whole time. Wasn’t that what Magnus wanted? Alec by his side? “But not like that”, he thought. He didn’t want him by his side as a guard, but-

He quickly pushed away the thought before even being able to finish it. He couldn’t ever think like that. Not with Alec.

“I appreciate the Jedi’s concern and it would be a pleasure to travel with you, Padawan”, he said, a playful smile tugging on his lips. A crooked grin appeared on Alec’s face and he looked down sheepishly.

“We’re leaving tomorrow”, informed Magnus him friendly, while standing up: “I suppose you need to go back to the temple to pack some things?”

“I don’t. I already brought everything I need”, answered Alec politely, standing up as well. Magnus’ eyes wander to the small bag laying on the floor where Alec left it and then back to the Padawan.

“Are you sure you’re not going to need anything else?”, asked Magnus, thinking about the things he’ll take with him.

“I don’t need much”, answered Alec: “Don’t worry about me I got everything.”

Magnus’ eyes locked with the Padawan’s and he instantly got lost in the play of light and shadow in those beautiful hazel eyes. He blinked a few times to focus again and said: “We’re leaving early tomorrow, maybe you want to spend the night here instead of going back to the temple?”

“I’d be very grateful”, answered Alec, a small smile on his face.

“I’ll get you a room ready”, said Magnus and smiled back.

 

Alec woke up before the sun came up. He hadn’t had the best night, still being troubled by nightmares.

He threw over a thin brown tunic, the sleeves a little too long even for him and left the room he had slept in. He looked down the hallway to the door where he knew Magnus’ room was.   
Magnus. Just the thought of the Senator made Alec’s heart beat a little faster and a small smile creep over his lips. He stretched, rising his arms above his head and letting out a satisfied groan, before he made his way to the living room.

To his surprise there was a lamp turned on and on one of the big couches sat Magnus, dressed in a pair of loose black pants and a shirt that revealed a big part of his chest, the light of the lamp making the caramel skin seem to glow, with a mug between his hands.

He looked beautiful and Alec felt his air get stuck a little in the back of his throat. He took a deep breath and walked in Magnus’ direction, causing the Senator to look up from his mug. Their eyes locked and Magnus smiled at him.

“Awake already?”, he asked and a small smile crept over Alec’s lips.

“Yeah, I- I like to be up early to meditate. And I couldn’t sleep anymore”, he answered. For a few seconds there was silence and Alec nervously shifted on his feet. Then Magnus said: “I can go if you want me to, so you can meditate in peace. I don’t want to disturb you.”

“No, it- it’s alright you’re not disturbing me”, Alec said and let out a deep sigh before sitting down on the couch next to Magnus. The Senator looked at him with his brown eyes, a soft expression on his face and Alec could see the golden reflection in them again. Magnus’ eyes were simply breathtaking.

“Battlefield?”, he simply asked and Alec broke eye contact, looking down at his hands that were folded in his lap.

“Yeah”, he simply answered and Magnus nodded slowly. The two sat in silence for a while, but Alec didn’t feel uncomfortable. Magnus’ presence had something soothing and for a minute Alec could forget what stopped him from sleeping peacefully in the first place. He was living in the moment and in this moment it was just the two of them. Him and Magnus.

Magnus’ foot nudged his and the Padawan looked up at him.

“Want to talk about it?”, he asked and Alec shook his head.

“Not really”, he answered and Magnus gave him a small smile.

“Okay”, he said and the silence settled between them again. After a few seconds Magnus spoke again: “Just know that I’m here if you need to talk, Alexander.”

Alec frowned confused and looked at Magnus.

“What?”, asked the Senator: “Is there something in my face?”

“No, just- “, Alec answered confused: “Alexander?”

“That’s what Alec stands for, doesn’t it?”, said Magnus.

“Yeah, it’s just that nobody calls me like that”, he said and Magnus smiled.   
“Well, now someone does”, he said and stood up: “I’ll see you later, Alexander.”

Magnus left the living room, leaving Alec alone on the couch. The Padawan stood up from the couch and sat on the carpet, legs crossed and hands carefully placed on his knees.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Clear your mind, let your thoughts disappear.

But in his head, all he could hear was Magnus saying his name, pronouncing every syllable.

_“Alexander.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo finally some more Malec bonding!  
> Let me know what you thought of the chap in the comments.
> 
> I'm just posting this real quick cause I promised myself I'd give you guys another chap as a small "Sorry" for not posting so long.
> 
> Kuddos and Feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @ chorifoxash


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Welcome on the Edomai, gentlemen”, greeted Catarina, as soon as the three men stepped onto the ramp leading into the starship. The captain was standing in the entry, arms held up in a dramatic gesture, a proud smirk on her face.
> 
> \--
> 
> The Edomai and Malec. Also an annoying droid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating again!   
> Get ready for a bit of fluff in this chap  
> Without any more additions  
> Enjoy!

“Welcome on the Edomai, gentlemen”, greeted Catarina, as soon as the three men stepped onto the ramp leading into the starship. The captain was standing in the entry, arms held up in a dramatic gesture, a proud smirk on her face. Magnus could see Raphael roll his eyes as he walked past her and a small smile crept over his lips.

Alec on the other hand looked around fascinated when they stepped into the ship. The Padawan was wearing his usual robe, but this time he had decided against the brown coat, dark leather accentuating his broad shoulders. A picture of how the Padawan was dressed that morning appeared in his mind. He had seemed more innocent, the loose fabric dangling around his body, his pale skin shining through it a little. He pushed away the imagine and focused on how Alec’s eyes shined with curiosity as he looked around like a little kid, causing Magnus to look around as well.

He knew the interior of the ship. Some droids standing in their charging stations ready for when they’d need them, even though Catarina barely relied on them. There was also a pretty big area that Cat held free for possible additional cargo and in one corner was small couch with a desk.

The proud smile on Catarinas’ face grew even bigger when she noticed Alec’s fascination for her ship. “And I’m here thinking you Jedi have seen a ship from the inside before”, she teased and Alec turned his head to look at her, a shy smile appearing on his face.

“I actually have seen a ship from the inside”, he stuttered embarrassed: “It’s just very different from the military ships I’m used to.” Catarina just smiled at that and then invited Alec to a little tour around the Edomai. The Padawan beamed at the offer and followed Catarina through the spaceship.

Magnus smiled and made his way to his room. He set down his bags on the floor when he entered it and looked around in the familiar environment. The neatly made bed with white sheets was pressed against the wall, a few comfortable chairs and a table stood in the other half of the room. Sunlight fell through the window into the room and Magnus placed his bags next to the closet, planning on emptying them later.

He left the room again and walked through the ship and found Alec in one of the hallways talking to a white astromech-droid with black paintings on him. The droid let out some beeping noises and Alec nodded, an amused smile on his face.

“I’m sure you do a great job helping Catarina”, he said and the droid beeped satisfied.

“I see you’ve already met R3”, said Magnus and stepped next to the droid. Alec looked up, like he only noticed him now. But he was a Jedi, shouldn’t he have felt Magnus through the force? He surely did.

“Yes, we had an interesting conversation over the navigation systems and R3’s tasks on board”, Alec answered, the amused smile not leaving his face.

“Did he also tell you about Cat forcing him to do the dishes?”, Magnus asked and R3 let out an angry noise, causing Alec to laugh.

The Padawan was still walking around without his coat and his laugh lit up his entire face, making him look even more beautiful. For a second Magnus couldn’t help but stare at him in amazement. Alec stopped laughing, a smile still lingering on his face and Magnus quickly pulled himself together.

“I guess that Cat already showed you your room”, he said and Alec nodded: “Yes, she was very kind.”

“You like it?”

“Yes, it’s great.”

For a few seconds, they stood there in silence, looking at each other. Suddenly R3 let out a beeping noise and Magnus flinched. He had completely forgotten that the droid was still there.

“Oh shut up!”, replied the Senator annoyed to the droid and R3 simply turned around and started rolling in the direction Magnus knew the cockpit was. He let out some complaining beeps and Magnus shook his head.

“That droid is going to drive me insane”, he stated and turned to Alec: “Are you hungry? I was going to grab some food in the canteen.”

“Starving, haven’t eaten anything all day”, he answered and Magnus smiled a little. Alec was so adorable sometimes.

They walked to the canteen and found it empty, except for the tables and benches. On one side of the room was a small buffet someone had quickly prepared. Some sandwiches laying on a plate, a basket of fruits and a thermos flask that probably had coffee in it. Someone even had made waffles and prepared a bit of cream to eat with them. Magnus made a mental note to ask Cat if she knew who did it and then thank that person with a little present.

Magnus took one of the plates and placed some sandwiches and waffles with cream on it, then he filled one of the cups with coffee and placed both things on one of the tables, before letting himself drop on the bench. Alec placed his plate in front of Magnus on the other side of the table and sat down. Magnus looked at Alec’s plate where the Padawan had placed two sandwiches and a few fruits. Magnus looked back at his own plate where he had placed a bunch of waffles and a single sandwich. Before Alec could notice he quickly got up and snatched a fruit out of the basket before sitting down again.   
They both started eating and Magnus noticed the way Alec looked at the waffles with curiosity.

“Want to try ‘em?”, asked Magnus, with his mouth still half full and Alec looked at him surprised. Magnus pointed with his fork at the waffles and Alec hesitated. Without thinking twice about it Magnus picked up a piece of waffle with his fork and extended it to Alec. The Padawan smiled sheepishly and picked up the piece of waffle from the fork with his fingers before putting it into his mouth. He chewed, trying the taste, before his eyes lit up and he smiled.

“They’re delicious, aren’t they?”, asked Magnus smiling back. Alec nodded and Magnus could’ve sworn there was a little blush creeping up his neck.

“I’ve never tried something like that”, said Alec after swallowing the piece of waffle and Magnus looked at him surprised. “My Masters always seemed pretty adamant about not letting us eat sweets”, he explained: “Even though I think Izzy once managed to sneak some sweets into the temple and we shared them. It was awesome. And don’t even get me started on the food rations they give us in the army, I wouldn’t even call that stuff food.”

Magnus smiled softly while Alec kept on rambling about the food in the army and how he and the clones were thankful for every fruit they could find. He mentioned Isabelle and Jace every now and then, a fond smile appearing on his face every time he did and Magnus quickly understood that the three were like siblings.

They finished their breakfast and cleaned up the table. Magnus noticed a second lightsaber hanging from the Padawan’s belt and frowned.

“I thought Jedi only had one lightsaber”, he asked and gestured at Alec’s belt. He looked down at himself to look at what Magnus was pointing at and answered: “It’s not really mine… well, I guess now it is but…” He trailed off, his eyes staring into the distance. Magnus could see a deep pain in them and carefully placed a hand on the other man’s shoulder. Alec shuddered at the touch and his eyes focused on the Senator’s face.

“Are you alright?”, asked Magnus worried and Alec nodded, lips pressed tightly into a thin line. He took the lightsaber from his belt and held it tightly in his hand. Magnus could see the way it was built, so unique and completely different from the other lightsaber that Alec had.

“It was my Master’s”, Alec explained and even though he tried his best to sound relaxed his voice was strained: “Master Garroway allowed me to keep it after her death.”

They stood there in silence, Magnus not knowing what to say. Suddenly a voiced ripped through the silence.

“Here you are Magnus!”, someone said and Magnus quickly took his hand from Alec’s shoulder and took a step back before turning to the door, where Raphael was standing. Magnus watched his friend’s eyebrows rise in a silent question, but he decided to ignore it, just like he tried to ignore Alec standing next to him.

“What is it?”, he asked and Raphael deadpan answered: “We need to talk.”

Magnus gulped and quickly looked to Alec, making sure that he was alright before following his friend out of the room.

 

Alec watched Magnus leave with Raphael and found himself alone in the canteen. He was still holding Master Trueblood’s lightsaber and without looking at it he attached it back on his belt. He left the canteen and wandered around on the ship, just now realizing that they must have taken off at some point. He could sense the emptiness of space through the force. On Coruscant he could feel the people, like blood throbbing through the veins of the city.

Somehow Alec ended up in front of the door he supposed led to the cockpit. Before he could do anything, the door opened with a hiss and R3 stood in front of him. Alec could see the cockpit behind the droid. It was pretty big, control panels on both sides of the room, with monitors showing things and switches and glowing buttons. There were four chairs, two in the back and the pilot and co-pilot chair in the front. More control panels were positioned in front and between the two front chairs and Alec could see the handlebars attached to the panels. Through the cockpit-window he could see into the darkness of space, the only light coming from the stars shining in the distance.

R3 let out a surprised noise when he saw Alec standing right in front of him, causing Catarina, who was sitting in the pilot chair, to turn around. She had her white hair in a thick braid falling down her back, her blue skin shining in the bright lights of the cockpit. She was wearing what Alec supposed was her pilot-wear. Black boots with brown trousers tucked into them, a black belt keeping them at her waist. She was wearing a blue shirt that suited her skin color and a brown leather jacket with a golden emblem sewed into it. A pair of pilot-glasses were positioned over her forehead, a thick leather band that went behind her head keeping them in place. Alec smiled at the detail with the glasses, they seemed more like an accessory than having an actual use.

“Alec, come in”, she said friendly and the Padawan stepped into the cockpit, letting R3 leave through the door. The air locks hissed again and the door closed behind him.

“Are you alright?”, asked Catarina and gestured Alec to sit down in the co-pilot seat. He sat down in the chair and looked out through the window, avoiding the captain’s electric blue eyes. Memories started to flood his mind.

_“Will we be there soon?”, asked Alec looking up at his Master._

_“Patience, my young Padawan”, she simply answered and Alec let out a frustrated sigh._

_“General, we just got the coordinates for the jump”, announced the clone that was sitting in the pilot chair. Alec didn’t know his name, but he had small red dots under his eyes painted on his helmet._

_“Proceed”, said Master Trueblood. She had her hands folded behind her back and was looking out of the window, a stern expression on her face._

_Alec was standing behind the co-pilot chair, where another clone was sitting and leaned forward expectantly when one of them started flipping switches and grabbed a lever that was situated in the middle of the control panels._

_“Making the jump into hyperspace”, he announced and pushed the lever.  
Alec watched as the stars turned into long stripes of light and suddenly the darkness changed and they were surrounded by blue waves of light._

_Alec’s eyes went wide with fascination as he looked outside the window._

_They were in hyperspace._

A gentle touch threw Alec back into reality. He looked away from the window and took a deep breath before looking at Catarina, who had placed a hand on his knee.

“Alec, what’s going on?”, she asked worried and Alec looked down at his lap, just now noticing his hand fiddling with his Padawan braid. He let out a frustrated snort and placed his fist in his lap.

“Alec, talk to me”, said Catarina and Alec looked at her. Worry was shimmering in her electric blue eyes. She had been very kind since Alec met her but something was stopping him from really talking to her. He didn’t know her enough, not yet.

“It’s because of the front, isn’t it?”, she asked and Alec lowered his head not answering.

“I know the feeling”, she said: “The constant tension from the battlefield, the memories, the dreams. I know all of it.”

Alec didn’t answer, hands playing with the material of his robe. Suddenly he chuckled a little before looking at Catarina again.

“What?”, she asked and he answered: “You just remember me of someone. His name is Raj, he was the Captain of my Battalion. I think you guys would get along pretty good.”

“How so?”, Cat asked amused, a smile spreading on her face and Alec was secretly thankful for changing the topic. He liked the Captain, she was nice but he didn’t want a heart-to-heart conversation with her.

“I don’t really know”, he answered: “Just a feeling.”

The communication device of the ship beeped and Catarina pressed a button. Some information appeared on one of the screen of the control panel and her eyes scanned over it before she nodded briefly. Then she pressed the button on the comm-link on her wrist before she spoke: “R3, we just got our clearance and coordinates for the jump. Come back here so you can help me.”

Some disagreeing beeps came out of the comm and Catarina frowned before saying: “Just get your rusty ass back here, we’ll worry about that later.”

Alec smiled a little as Cat ended the call and shook her head murmuring something about how R3 was going to drive her insane. That seemed to be the droid’s thing. She proceeded to press a few buttons before her fingers lingered over a switch.

“Hyperspace here we come”, she said and flipped the switch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more Malec!   
> Also did I mention I love Cat and Alec as bros? 
> 
> This fic is just a big ball of angst and I'm not even sorry hehe (don't hurt me pls)
> 
> What do you Gus think Magnus and Raphael will be talking about?  
> Thoughts on R3? 
> 
> Kuddos and Feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @/chorifoxash


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus followed Raphael through the ship, his thoughts running through his mind. What was it Raphael wanted to talk about? Was it because of what he did? It most definitely was. Was he still mad?  
> Was this about Alec?
> 
> —
> 
> Raphael and Magnus talk. And there’s Malec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you follow me on insta you’ll know that i’m on holidays and i didn’t take my laptop with me so this is my first time updating from my phone!  
> Let’s see how it goes ^^’  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Edit: It messed up the entire font so it looks different from my usual chaps i’m sorry i’ll try fix it as soon as i got my laptop again  
> Edit2: Fixed it! Happy reading

Magnus followed Raphael through the ship, his thoughts running through his mind. What was is Raphael wanted to talk about? Was it because of what he did? It most definitely was. Was he still mad?

Was this about Alec?

Raphael opened the door to what Magnus recognized as his friend’s room. The door slid shut behind them and Magnus quickly pushed away all his thoughts, focusing on Raphael, who had taken of his jacket and put in on his chair. The pale man took two glasses and a flask of alcohol from the desk and extend one glass in Magnus direction.

“You gonna stay there like a bantha in a rancor pit or are you going to have a drink with me?”, he asked and Magnus took a step forward, taking the glass from Raphael.

The pale man was wearing brown boots and a white shirt over black pants, his red jacket now hanging over the chair that was standing next to the table he was leaning against. Magnus watched as his friend stood there, eyes closed, one hand hanging on his side next to the blaster in his thigh holster, the other one holding the drink near his chest.

“You wanted to talk”, Magnus started softly his voice getting higher in the end making it sound like a question. Raphael took a deep breath before looking at Magnus, his brown eyes fixating on the Senator’s face.

“Yes”, he simply answered before taking in another deep breath and mumble: “I can’t believe your making me do this Cat.”

Magnus chuckled: “So Catarina, huh? Why am I not surprised?”

“She’s right though. We have to talk about your stupid ass decision to go back to Pandemonium without talking to us about it.”, answered Raphael and took a sip of his drink. Before Magnus could reply anything, he kept talking: “It’s not your decision that made me mad, even though that was pretty freaking stupid as well, it was the fact that you decided without us.”

Magnus avoided his friend’s eyes and said: “I’m sorry, Raphael. It was wrong not to tell you but you have to understand that I had no other choice.” Raphael opened his mouth to reply but Magnus raised his hand to stop him. “If I would’ve asked you and Cat about going back to Pandemonium, and I want you to be honest with me, would you have let me go?”, he asked and watched his friend open his mouth to reply, just to shut it again.

“That is no excuse”, Raphael said in a low voice and Magnus nodded. He moved to place his drink on the little table between two chairs and noticed just now the mostly empty alcohol flask that was standing on Raphael’s night stand. The Senator frowned, Raphael wasn’t usually one to drink a lot of alc.

Except if something bothered him.

Before he got to ask Raphael started talking.

“If you get yourself killed I’ll feel like that’s on me, you stupid bastard”, he said, taking another sip from his drink: “Just so you know. And you want to know why? Cause I’m freaking responsible for your security. It’s my job and if you die that means I didn’t do my job. Just like Ragnor.”

Magnus’ eyes shot to Raphael’s face. Pain and guilt was painted all over Raphael’s features and Magnus’ eyes widened startled. Raphael hadn’t said Ragnor’s name ever since the latter’s death months back and now seeing his friend showing his emotions in a way he usually never did worried him.

“Ragnor wasn’t your fault, Raphael”, he said, carefully taking a step closer: “And you know he’d say the same if he’d be here.”

“But he isn’t!”, Raphael bit back: “And that’s my fault.”

“There was nothing you could’ve done”, replied Magnus keeping his voice calm: “Ragnor made a decision and I know it’s hard, but you should respect it.”

“It was a terrible decision really”, replied Raphael, finishing his drink in one gulp and placing the empty glass on the table behind him.

“Raphael!”, said Magnus in a stern voice, looking at his friend with a mixture of horror and worry. The other man looked him straight in the eye, not taken aback at all by his friend’s sudden outburst.

“I wasn’t worth it”, Raphael said and Magnus would’ve believed his careless tone if it wasn’t for the guilt in his eyes.

“Ragnor thought you were”, replied Magnus: “He thought you were worth saving. Ragnor loved you like a son, Raphael. He sacrificed his life to save you from those Seps.”

“If he really thought that he was either naïve or stupid”, said Raphael and now Magnus was getting mad.

“Don’t you dare talk about him like that! I know you don’t mean it, so don’t say it. You of all people shouldn’t talk about him like that”, said Magnus raising his voice. Raphael bit his lip and looked away. Magnus took a sharp breath before speaking.

“I’m sorry”, he said: “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“No, don’t be. You’re right”, answered Raphael, still not looking at Magnus: “I don’t know why I said that. I should be the one apologizing.”

For a few seconds, they just stood there in the silence of Raphael’s room, neither of them knowing what to say next.

“This is awkward”, Raphael finally said and Magnus let out an amused snort.

“That’s one way to put it”, he answered and Raphael rolled his eyes at him but a small smile appeared on his face. There was sadness in it, but it was a smile and it was rare that Raphael ever smiled instead of just rolling his eyes at him and letting out a snarky comment.  

“So, do you forgive me for not telling you?”, asked Magnus and his friend nodded.

“I may not like it and I’m still mad at you but I think I’m getting closer to understanding why you did it”, he answered and Magnus nodded, a soft smile spreading on his lips. He opened his arm, as if to hug Raphael but his friend stopped him by raising his hand.

“No, not happening”, he said, his usual deadpan voice returning: “I’d rather run against a wall than hug you.” And there was the snarky comment.

“Raphael, you are hurting my emotions. I thought we were having a moment”, Magnus answered dramatically, an exaggerated hurt expression on his face. But he could barely hide the joy in his heart. He missed this, their banter, the snarky comments and overdramatic responses. And still, what Raphael said worried him, even if it had only been in a moment of emotional weakness and maybe desperation where he hadn’t been himself. Magnus promised himself to keep an eye on his friend. Just to make sure he was alright.

 

Alec abruptly sat up on his bed, cold sweat making his raven hair stick to his forehead and letting him shiver. Another nightmare had ripped him out of his sleep and he could still hear his blood rushing through his own panting. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down his racing heart and pushing back the tears prickling in his eyes.

He looked around in the foreign room and recognized the quarter Catarina had given him on the _Edomai_. Alec got out of the bed and went to the closet where he kept the few things he brought with him and put on the thin tunic he had worn the night before. His eyes fell on the two lightsabers laying next to his neatly folded robe.

_Do you let all the people you care about die?_

Alec shook his head, getting rid of the voice from his dream. He closed the closet door and stood in the darkness of the room, not really knowing what to do now. His hand unconsciously wandered to his Padawan braid and he started running his hands up and down along the braid. The room suddenly felt too small, like the walls were closing in on Alec but at the same time it felt too big, everything too far away and too close at the same time. He had to get out of the room.

As soon as the door shut behind him with a silent hiss Alec took a deep breath and closed his eyes focusing on the cool air outside the room and the silence surrounding him. He could hear the distant sound of the engines and thought that if he focused on it he could hear R3 beeping somewhere in the ship. He opened his eyes again and started walking through the ship, the sound of his boots resonating a little through the hallways.

After wandering through the ship for a while, Alec found himself in what seemed like some kind of recreation room. There was a round couch in one corner, a hologame table positioned in the middle like it was just waiting for someone to start a game. On one side of the room were a few control panels and a toolkit was standing next to the chair in front of them and there was another chair in front of a holo desk near the other end of the room.

Alec sat cross-legged on the floor in the middle of the room and closed his eyes, placing his hands in his lap. He took a deep breath and relaxed, focusing on his own breath to clear his mind. He reached out through the force, finding comfort in the familiarity of doing so and he could feel the other people on the ship. He reached out even further and found Jace presence in the force. For a second Alec let himself relax into the feeling of his best friend’s force signature to forget the nightmare that had ripped him out of his sleep. He was just about to reach out to his sister when he felt someone near him.

The door opened with a hiss and Alec recognized the person through the force. He could feel the surprise and hesitation and a small smile crept over his lips.

“Come in, Magnus”, he called, eyes still closed and his back turned to the door.

He could hear Magnus steps on the floor as the Senator entered the room and walked to the couch near Alec.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you”, he apologized and Alec opened his eyes to look at the Senator.

Magnus was wearing a pair of loose grey trousers and a white t-shirt that appeared to be a little too big for him and he still managed to look incredibly handsome in it. He looked like he had just gotten out of bed just like Alec himself, sleep still lingering in his features and his brown eyes.

“You didn’t disturb me”, replied Alec and watched as Magnus sat down on the floor in front of him.

“We can move to the couch if you want”, said Alec: “I imagine the floor isn’t the most comfortable place for you.”

“It is indeed a bit cold”, chuckled Magnus but didn’t move to stand up. Instead he asked: “Why do you sit on the floor instead of somewhere else?”

“It helps me meditate”, answered Alec: “Master Trueblood used to say that the more our bodies were grounded on earth the freer was our mind.”

“She sounds like a wise woman”, said Magnus and Alec avoided looking in his eyes, afraid to give away more of his emotions than he was willing to. “She was”, he simply answered, still feeling Magnus’ eyes on him. The Senator placed a hand on his knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“What are you doing awake?”, asked Alec, desperately wanting to change topic.

“I couldn’t sleep”, answered Magnus and shrugged, taking his hand of Alec’s knee. The eyes of the Senator wandered to the hologame table standing by the couch and then to Alec.

“Fancy a game?”, he asked the Padawan, pointing to the game table. Without waiting for an answer Magnus stood up from the floor and sat on one side of the table. Alec followed his lead, sitting down in front of him.

“I don’t know how to play”, said Alec and Magnus looked at him surprised. “You don’t know how to play Dejarik? What do they even teach you in your sacred temples?”, said Magnus in a dramatic voice and Alec rolled his eyes at the joking tone.

“Don’t worry, it’s simple”, added Magnus, a smirk on his face: “But don’t be sad if you can’t beat me on your first game.”

“Is that a challenge?”, asked Alec playful and Magnus answered: “If you want it to be.”

 

Alec was surprisingly good at Dejarik and Magnus found it harder and harder to beat him with every game they played. He pressed a button on the table and moved one of the holographic beasts on the table to beat one of Alec’s.

“Dammit”, cursed the Padawan under his breath and a small concentrated frown appeared on his face and Magnus smiled pleased.

“Looks like I’m winning. Again”, he said mockingly but Alec didn’t seem to give him much attention, too focused on his next move. The Padawan pressed a button on the table and one of the beasts moved and attacked Magnus player that was positioned on the middle of the gametable. Magnus watched as Alec’s monster beat his own, the hologram of the figure disappearing.

“There goes your strongest”, Alec stated, a broad smile on his face and Magnus looked at him impressed.

“The Padawan is learning”, he said playfully and Alec rolled his eyes at him. Magnus pressed a button and one of his figures moved to beat Alec’s figure, that was now placed in the middle of the gametable. Alec’s eyes widened a little when Magnus beat reclaimed the position by making the Padawan’s figure disappear.

“But he still hasn’t reached the rank of a Master”, Magnus added and Alec blew out air through his nose. “Dammit”, he mumbled and Magnus placed a hand on his shoulder and said: “Don’t worry, it’s just a matter of practice. Who knows maybe one day you’ll beat Cat at it.”

“Maybe one day i’ll even beat you”, Alec replied, a competitive spark in his eyes and Magnus would be lying if he’d say that he didn’t enjoy his enthusiasm.

“I doubt that that’s going to happen”, he answered and Alec rolled his eyes at him again, a smile tugging on his lips.

Magnus’ eyes wandered to his lips and he wondered how it would feel like to kiss them. Would they be as soft as they looked like? Or would they be rough, marked by wind and weather? When he realized where his thoughts went Magnus quickly pushed them away. He took his hand of Alec’s shoulder and stood up from the couch.

“I’m tired. I should go back to sleep while I still am”, he explained quickly and Alec looked at him a bit surprised by his sudden change of behavior.

“Okay”, the Padawan simply answered, apparently unable to say something else. Magnus nodded and walked to the door. He could feel Alec’s unsure look on him as he opened the door. He turned around to Alec again, who was still sitting on the couch and looking at the gametable.

“Alec”, he said and cause the Padawan to look at him. “I had fun tonight”, he said: “We should do that more often.” Alec smiled again and nodded. “I would love that”, he said and Magnus back at him.

“Goodnight, Alexander”, he said and Alec answered: “Goodnight, Magnus.”

Magnus left the room, leaving the Padawan alone in it. The door slid shut behind him and he leaned his head against the wall next to it and closed his eyes.

“What are you doing, Magnus?”, he whispered to himself. He opened his eyes again and took a deep breath before walking back to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the Malec bonding time!  
> I feel kinda sorry for what i did to poor Raphael (or do i? *evil smile*)
> 
> But to be honest i don’t like how i’ve written the dialogue between Raphael and Magnus at all. I wrote it like three times but i’m still not happy with it welp.
> 
> For everyone who isn’t a complete Star Wars geek like myself: Dejarik (or Holochess) is the game R2 and Chewie play in “A New Hope”. Chewie and Beckett also play it in “Solo”. 
> 
> Kuddos and Feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @/chorifoxash


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What is it?”, he asked the Padawan.  
> “We got company.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Something's happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't posted in forever sorry guys!  
> I didn't read this through again before posting please be kind y'all >.<  
> Enjoy!

Almost every night when Magnus’ mind would stop him from sleeping he would find himself in the recreation room. And every time, Alec was already there, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed and his back turned to the door. Just like the first night he would greet Magnus before he could even say something. They would play a few rounds of Dejarik and Alec would talk about his siblings or Magnus would tell a story about how R3 would drive Raphael crazy or his life on Pademonium.

They never talked about the war or politics of any kind.

It was nice, Magnus enjoyed the privacy they had and their easy conversations. He even found himself looking forward to their small meetings. Magnus knew exactly that he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways, even more now that they were in space and there was no such thing as day and night. He couldn’t help but wonder what stopped Alec from getting a peaceful sleep. The Padawan claimed to enjoy the meditation when everyone was asleep but Magnus believed that there was more to it.  

The entire crew of the _Edomai_ had gone to sleep shortly before they had gotten out of hyperspace and R3 was navigating the ship, making sure they stayed on course. Magnus had entered the room shortly after he had laid down in an unsuccessful attempt of getting some sleep and already found Alec there. They had played a few games of Dejarik and Alec had almost one once, even though Magnus claimed it just was because he let the Padawan get to him. Now they were sitting on the couch talking about everything and nothing. Magnus had placed his feet on the table and was listening to Alec who was talking about one of the shenanigans he and his siblings had done. Magnus was paying more attention to Alec and how his eyes glowed full of happiness and the way he moved while talking and less to the actual story he was telling. Suddenly Alec stopped talking mid sentences and Magnus got torn out of his bubble.

“What is it?”, he asked the Padawan. The latter was frowning and had his eyes squinted as if he was focusing on something.

“Didn’t you feel it?”, he asked and Magnus shook his head. “It felt like something moved the ship”, he explained and Magnus raised his eyebrows.

“Like an impact?”, he asked and added: “Maybe it was just a rock.”

Alec shook his head. “No”, he answered: “It felt more like…” Suddenly the ship moved abruptly and the two men looked at each other.

“Now I felt it too”, said Magnus and took his feet of the table. Alec got up and walked to the closed door, closing his eyes while he stood before it.

“What is it?”, Magnus asked and got up from the couch himself. Alec frowned. He opened his eyes and looked at the Senator, a stern expression on his face.

“We got company.”

 

Alec could feel the strangers through the force. How did they manage to get on the ship without being noticed? He had been so focused on Magnus that he completely forgot to make sure they were save.

“What do you mean we got company?”, asked Magnus, the surprise clearly written across his face.

“Somebody got on the ship”, answered Alec and focused on the force signatures of the strangers before adding: “I can feel three- no four of them and they aren’t human.” He looked at Magnus and the Senator’s expression had change from surprised to focused.

“Do you know where they are?”, he asked and Alec reached out through the force.

“Two are near the cockpit and the others are closing in on the kitchen”, he answered and Magnus frowned.

“We have to contact R3”, he said and Alec replied: “I have all my equipment in my room.”  

“Me too”, replied Magnus: “Guess we’ll have to get to the cockpit then, after we get Raphael and Cat.” He moved to the door and Alec grabbed his arm before he could open it.

“We can’t risk them finding out where we are”, said the Padawan: “At the moment, we still have a chance to surprise them.”

“Fine, what is your plan?”, asked the Senator and Alec replied: “First we have to get out weapons. We can’t walk into this unarmed without knowing who we’re facing. We have to be quiet.”

Magnus nodded and small smile was playing around his lips when he said: “Take the lead, Master Jedi.” Alec rolled his eyes at the title but he couldn’t help but smirk a little.

“Follow me”, he simply said and opened the door, after making sure none of the strangers were in the hallway. He stepped out of the room and quickly looked around before he started walking in the direction of their rooms. Catarina’s and Raphael’s quarters were on a different part of the ship and it would take too long to get them. Alec stopped at the corner that led to the hallway with their rooms and peered around the corner. He could feel Magnus right behind him and signalized him to stop when he saw a person in the hallway. It was a Weequay pirate. He was wearing a headscarf and some worn out clothes, in his hand was a rifle.

Alec made sure the Weequay hadn’t noticed them and looked at Magnus, who had taken a few steps closer and was now looking over Alec’s shoulder.

“How are we getting rid of him?”, he whispered and Alec smiled in lieu of an answer. He extended his arm in the direction of the Weequay and reached out through the force. Suddenly a noise, like a can falling over, echoed through the hallway and the Weequay turned away from the two men. He loaded his rifle and walked down the hallway to where the sound had come from and away from Alec and Magnus. When the Pirate turned around the corner Alec took a step into the hallway and quickly but silently walked to his room, Magnus right behind him.

“Was that sound you?”, asked the Senator in a low voice when they stood before Alec’s door.

„A little Trick I learned from Master Trueblood”, answered the Padawan before opening the door. The two men entered the room and the door closed behind them. Alec quickly went to get his lightsaber out of the closet and after a few seconds of hesitation he also took Master Trueblood’s with him.

Magnus had been looking around for a blaster in the room and Alec was about to tell him that he wouldn’t find one when the Senator opened a compartment underneath the bed and took out a blaster. Alec raised his eyebrows at him surprised and Magnus shrugged.

“Raphael once insisted in putting one in each room in case of an attack. Who knew that his unnecessary worries would pay of”, he explained and Alec couldn’t help but smile at the way Magnus looked in his pajamas with a weapon in his hand. It just didn’t fit.

“What?”, asked the Senator, noticing the way Alec was looking at him. With a smug grin he added: “Seeing something you like, Lightwood?”

Alec rolled his eyes at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice the little blush creeping up his neck and focused back on the lightsabers in his hands. He took a deep breath and gripped the weapons, feeling the stones inside them resonate with his force signature. Without another moment of hesitation he took out his weapon’s belt of the closet and put it on.

“We should get going”, said Magnus just as the Padawan attached the sabers to his belt. Alec nodded and they left the room. Magnus took the lead and lead them to the cockpit, at least that was Alec’s guess. The Padawan didn’t know the ship good enough to tell.

It was quiet as the two men wandered through the ship, even the sound of the engine’s was gone. Once again Alec was surprised how empty the ship was. Usually a senator had more people with him when he travelled, even a whole security team and considering that Magnus was royalty it surprised him even more. He focused back on Magnus who was walking in front of him. All his senses were on high alert and ready to fight. They reached the hallway that led to the cockpit and Alec carefully glanced around the corner. The door was opened and he could see R3 standing before the control panel between the two chairs, an armed Weequay standing next to him.

The droid wasn’t moving and Alec guessed they had taken him out with a retaining bolt. The pirate’s back was turned to the door and without a word Alec made sure there was no one else before walking straight to him. He could hear Magnus frantically whisper his name, trying to call him back but he ignored him. Alec managed to walk up to the Weequay without him noticing and tapped the pirate’s shoulder. He turned around surprised and Alec knocked him out with a punch in his face.He caught him before he could hit the floor and laid him down with the less noise possible. Magnus had already caught up to him and started working on the retaining bolt.

“Dammit”, he murmured when the tool he was using to detach the annoying bolt slipped away without leaving a scratch.

“Wait, let me”, said Alec and extended his hand crushing the bolt with the force. With a loud beep R3 came back to life and Magnus quickly shushed him.

“Shut up, you’re gonna get us killed”, he said in a low voice and the droid turned quiet. He looked at the two men and beeped a question.

“No time for explanations”, answered Magnus and Alec said: “R3, I need you to get the engine’s running but be quiet. We don’t want any attention.” The Padawan looked out the cockpit window and saw the ship of the pirates. He added: “And see if you can detach us from that thing somehow.” The droid let out a few assuring beeps and got to work. Magnus took the pirate’s rifle and turned to Alec.

“What are we going to do with him?”, he asked nodding at the unconscious Weequay.

“Do you have something to tie him up?”, asked Alec and Magnus shook his head. R3 let out a few beeps and moved to open a door on one side of the cockpit. It looked like a closet and just big enough to fit a person in it. “That’ll have to work”, said Magnus and together with Alec the put the pirate inside the closet. The Padawan took the Weequay’s comm and almost let it fall down when a voice suddenly came out of it.

“Zilo, come in”, ordered the voice of a woman. Alec didn’t answer, quickly making sure that he wasn’t pressing the input button before he looked at Magnus. The Senator came closer when the voice spoke again: “Zilo are you there? Dammit. Get me the crew you useless Mynoks!”

Alec muttered a curse under his breath. The two looked at each other for a moment before Magnus said: “Looks like they know something’s wrong.”

 

“We have to get Raphael and Cat”, said Magnus and Alec nodded.

“Let’s split up”, said the Padawan and Magnus was about to agree when he remembered that Alec barely knew the ship. He was just about to ask when Alec spoke again: “I know where Raphael’s room is. Go get Cat, we’ll meet here again.”

Magnus nodded and the two left the cockpit and split up. Magnus still had the pirate’s rifle with him as he made his way to Cat as quickly as possible. He could hear indistinct calls and footsteps echoing through the ship and he just hoped that Alec was alright. When he found Catarina’s room the Captain was already awake. She was wearing her brown pants and black boots with the usual blue shirt. Her white hair was in a messy ponytail and her head snapped up when the door opened. Magnus entered the room, the door closing behind him.

“Cat, thank the stars you’re awake”, he said relieved and Catarina looked surprised at the rifle in his hand.

“What happened?”, she asked and Magnus gave her the rifle before answering: “Pirate’s. We don’t know what they want but they’re after us.”

“Alec and Raphael?”, she simply asked, checking out the weapon he had given her.

“Haven’t heard of Raphael yet, Alec is on his way to get him. R3 is already working on getting us out of here”, explained Magnus: “They took him out with a retaining bolt.”

“Where are we meeting with the others?”, she asked.

“The cockpit”, answered  Magnus.

“Let’s go then.”

They left the room, making sure none of their unwanted guests were waiting for them outside. The ship had gotten suspiciously quiet and Magnus’ senses were on high alert, the blaster in his hand only waiting to be used. Catarina was walking behind him, making sure no one got to the from behind. They arrived in the hallway that led to the cockpit and Magnus carefully peeked around the corner. He exhaled relieved when he saw Alec and Raphael standing by the door.

“Magnus there you are”, said Raphael relieved when he noticed the others. Alec turned around to face them as well and Magnus and Cat walked up to them.

“Did you run into any of our guests?”, asked Alec, his eyes scanning the hallway they had just come through. Magnus could see the tension in his shoulders, the Padawan was on edge just like the rest of them.

“No, we managed to avoid them”, answered Cat. She brushed a strand of white her that had gotten out of her ponytail behind her ear. Magnus looked at Alec and asked:“Any news from R3?”

“R3? What’s that droid up to?”, said Raphael surprised and looked between the two men. He was wearing his sleeping clothes, a pair of dark pants and a white shirt, that made his skin look even paler.

“Nothing yet”, answered Alec, ignoring Raphael’s question. The sudden beeping of a commlink almost made Magnus flinch. He raised his eyebrows curiously when Alec answered the call and R3’s beeps came out of the commlink.

“What did he say?”, asked Raphael and Cat translated: “He’s able to detach us from the pirate’s ship.” Alec focused on the comm and answered the droid: “Wait R3. Stay in position we’ll find a way to get the pirate’s off the ship.” He ended the call and the others were looking at him.

“And how exactly are we going to get them of our ship?”, asked Catarina, placing one of her hands on her hip. Magnus looked at Alec and the expression on the Padawan’s face told him that he already had a plan. A dangerous one.

“You’re going to do something stupid, aren’t you?”, he asked and Alec raised his eyebrows at him. Magnus didn’t even know how he could tell or when he had gotten to know Alec well enough to know. The Padawan slightly raised his eyebrows surprised but didn’t say anything else.

“Alec, what’s your plan?”, asked Catarina and seemed to rip him out of his thoughts. He blinked and turned away from Magnus to look at her.

“From what we’ve heard they’re bounty hunters, so I’ll give them something to hunt”, he answered. Suddenly Magnus realized what he was talking about. “Not happening!”, said Magnus determined. Alec looked at him again, his expression unmoved but with a spark in his eyes that Magnus couldn’t quite read.

“Do you have a better plan?”, he asked and Magnus opened his mouth just to close it again. He didn’t. And he had to admit that Alec’s plan was a good one, but something in him didn’t want Alec to be exposed to that danger. The Padawan turned to Raphael and Catarina.

“Cat, make sure the _Edomai_ is ready to get us out of here when I say”, he said and the Captain nodded without further questions and disappeared into the cockpit. The door closed behind her with the hiss of the airlocks and Alec turned his attention to Raphael.

“You take Magnus and make sure you stay somewhere safe. Stay on alert and make sure your commlink is turned on in case Catarina needs you or something goes wrong”, he said and Raphael nodded. Magnus was surprised to see his friend like that. Raphael wasn’t exactly one to follow orders, especially since he was usually the one giving them. Magnus guessed that even Raphael had to admit that Alec was more than experienced on the battlefield. As little as Magnus liked the idea of leaving Alec alone to deal with the pirates, he followed Raphael without discussion when the man took the lead to a safe place.

He turned around to Alec one last time before turning around the corner.

“May the force be with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting angsty again! Pls don't kill me *nervous smile*
> 
> Soooo I didn't have much time to write and I like to write ahead so depending on what's coming up and how much time I'll have there might be a longer break till the next chapter until I've written more ahead again.
> 
> Kuddos and Feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @/chorifoxash


	10. !Important! Please Read!

Dear Readers,

This fic will be going on a hiatus while I try to figure out where I want the plot line to lead because right now I don't feel like it's truly getting anywhere and it's making it really hard for me to write. 

I **will** continue writing this fic and not abandon it, trust me I enjoy it too much but I don't know when I'll be back to posting. 

I hope some of y'all will still be here when I'm back. Check out my instagram acc (@/chorifoxash) for possible updates since I'm way more active there.

Till then, 

wishing y'all all the good things that life has to give.

Chori


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “R3, do you copy?”, he asked and a few beeps and whistle answered him.
> 
> “I might need your help to guide me through the ship."
> 
> \--
> 
> Getting rid of unwanted guests may be a lot harder than it first seems like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK!   
> Sorry for the 2 month hiatus y'all, I needed some time to sort this story out but now I know where I want it to go and I'm back to writing for y'all.  
> I want to say again that writing is not my main focus when it comes to creativity BUT I want to try and write more than I used to for y'all.   
> So thankful for your patience!  
> Without further additions  
> Enjoy!

Before Alec could answer, the Senator had already disappeared with Raphael behind the corner. The Padawan took a deep breath. He felt the adrenaline pumping through his veins, his hands twitching for the lightsabers on his belt and his senses on high alert. He took the commlink from his belt and contacted R3.

“R3, do you copy?”, he asked and a few beeps and whistle answered him.

“I might need your help to guide me through the ship”, said Alec and the droid answered with more beeps. Alec rolled his eyes at the statement and said: “I might be a Jedi but I’m not some kind of god. So, will you help me?” An assuring whistle sound came out of the comm and Alec nodded satisfied. “Thank you”, he said and turned off the commlink, attaching it to his belt again.

He closed his eyes and tried to locate the pirates through the force. None of them were particularly close. He took the hallway that was opposite to the one Raphael and Magnus had left through. Magnus. Alec didn’t understand his outburst when the Padawan had proposed to be the bait. Before he could dig deeper into these thoughts he focused back on the here and now. This was a battle situation, he couldn’t afford to get distracted by his thoughts.

The hallways were empty, but Alec could hear the voices of the pirates not too far away. He detached one of his lightsabers and ignited the blade, it’s green light reflecting from the white walls. The Padawan walked straight into the direction of the pirates, their voices getting louder the closer he got. When he was only a corner away from them he stopped. He reached out through the force and felt three different signatures. Alec took a deep breath and focused, then he jumped out of his cover.

“Hello guys”, he said and the three Weequay turned around at the same time. “A Jedi!”, yelled one of them and another one shot at Alec. The Padawan blocked the light-bolt and yelled at them: “Come and get me!”

He started running down the hallway away from the cockpit. He could hear the Weequay’s following him. Their voices and heavy steps were resonating through the hallway. Alec blocked the light-bolts they fired at him and soon he was sure that the entire ship knew where he was. Suddenly more pirates appeared in front of him and he quickly escaped around the corner into a hallway. When he looked back to block a light-bolt he could see about seven pirates following him.

He cursed under his breath and ripped the commlink from his belt, while keeping his lightsaber in the other hand.

“R3 come in! R3!”, he yelled, so the droid could hear him over all the noise he had created. The droid’s beeps answered him quickly and Alec thanked the stars for the quick answer of the little astromech. “I need you to tell me how I get to the air-lock!”, he said. The droid kept silent for a few second before giving him instructions through some beeps and whistles. Alec thanked him quickly and turned off the commlink, focusing completely on the Weequays that were trying to kill him.

“I bet Jace would enjoy this”, he murmured to himself as he sent another light-bolt back to a Weequay. After Alec turned around yet another corner he saw the air-lock that led to the pirate’s ship.

“Finally,”, he breathed out and stopped in front of the open door. He deactivated his lightsaber and attached it back on his belt. Just mere seconds afterwards the pirates turned around the corner, guns cocked and ready to fire. Before they could pull the trigger, Alec used the force to pull them towards him, bringing them out of balance for a few seconds. Enough time for Alec to get their weapons out of their hands across the room. Some of the pirates let out surprised screams and Alec closed his eyes. He reached out with the force once more and extended his arms in the direction of the Weequays. He heard more screams while he lifted them into the air and moved them towards the air-lock. Alec clenched his teeth under the effort and groaned loudly when he threw the pirates through the air-lock. He opened his eyes again and saw them laying in the hallway between the two ships. Some of them were getting on their feet again already.

Alec quickly grabbed the commlink from his belt and yelled: “R3 now!” Mere seconds later the air-locks closed with a loud hiss in front of Alec. A jerk went through the _Edomai_ as she detached from the other ship. Alec tried to keep his balance and when the ship had stabilized again he leaned against a wall. The adrenaline was leaving his body and the exhaustion of what he just did hit him. He let himself have a few seconds to catch his breath before he pushed himself off the wall and walked back to the cockpit. He was only halfway there when Magnus reached him.

“Alec, are you alright? You look pale”, asked Magnus. Alec was surprised to hear the worry in his voice. He felt it even stronger through the force. It was leaving the Senator like waves. But it wasn’t the same kind of worry he felt when Isabelle or Jace were worried about him it was more… intimate.

“I’m good, don’t worry. Just drained”, he answered, noticing a tired expression on the Senator’s face as well: “Using the force may look easy but it can be really exhausting.” Magnus’ worry faded mostly and the two men walked back to the cockpit together.

The door opened with a hiss and Alec saw Cat and Raphael sitting in the two pilot chairs with their backs turned to the door, the blue streaks of hyperspace flying past the cockpit.

“I didn’t realize we already made the jump”, said Alec surprised and Catarina answered: “I wanted to get us out of there as quickly as possible.” R3 let out some beeps when Alec and Magnus sat down on the chairs. Magnus chuckled and Alec said: “Yes R3, you did a great job.” Cat and Raphael turned around to them in their chairs and Alec wasn’t surprised to see exhausted expressions on their faces as well.

“Any theories who would put bounty hunters on our trail?”, asked Cat and Raphael crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Isn’t that obvious?”, he asked: “The Circle. They want to stop us from arriving on Pandemonium.”

“I agree”, said Alec: “It would make sense. It wouldn’t be the first time that Seps pay someone to do their dirty work.” Out of the blue, loud knocks came from one of the doors in the cockpit. The entire crew jumped out of their seats, weapons drawn.

“I thought we got rid of all the scum?”, said Raphael and Magnus and Alec looked at each other. “Dammit”, cursed Alec under his breath: “We completely forgot about him.”

“About who?”, asked Cat, the knocking on the closet door getting louder and louder. “The guy that was watching the cockpit”, answered Magnus: “We knocked him out when we freed R3 and completely forgot about him afterwards.”

“Well looks like we’ll have to take care of him now”, said Raphael and sounded everything but happy. The dark shadows under his eyes stood in drastic contrast to his pale skin.

“First thing we have to take care of are ourselves,” argued Cat: “We’re all tired and need to catch up on sleep.”

“And what about him?”, asked Magnus pointing to the closet. The knocking had stopped and they could only guess what was going on in there.

“What could happen? He’s trapped in there and R3 will watch him while we all get some sleep,” answered Catarina and everyone was too tired to argue. If Alec was honest he didn’t want anything else than to sleep. The crew exited the cockpit, leaving R3 alone and went to their rooms.

Magnus and Alec walked side by side down the corridor to their rooms. They both didn’t speak, the silent buzzing of the ship and their steps being the only sounds in the hallway. The lightsabers on Alec’s belt hit his thighs with every step he took and the feeling of the metal through the fabric of his trousers remembered Alec of his time with the Adamant Battalion. Seemingly endless walks through destroyed landscapes, the sound of canons echoing from the distance. His lightsaber would leave bruises on his thigh after a long day walking and the next day his weapon would still be hitting the same spots, not giving the bruises any chance to heal. He wondered if the same thing used to happen to Master Trueblood. The thought of his old Master made Alec’s heart clench painfully. He quickly pushed away the thought and focused on Magnus. The presence of the Senator, his… friend? Were they friends? Alec wasn’t sure. He never had any friends outside the Order or the Battalion.

“Magnus”, said Alec and the other man looked at him.

“What is it, Alexander?”

Alec felt a cold shiver running down his back when Magnus said his name. He licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry, before he spoke.

“Are we friends?”, he asked and Magnus seemed surprised at the question.

“Do you want us to be?”

Alec blinked. Of course he wanted to. Why wouldn’t he? Magnus was a good person, he was loyal and brave and funny. Suddenly a small voice appeared in the back of his head with a question. What if he wanted more? He quickly pushed it away. He was a Jedi, he wasn’t allowed to feel like this about anyone.

Magnus was still looking at him expectantly and Alec realized that he still hadn’t answered his question.

“I’d love to be”, he answered and Magnus smiled at him. Alec smiled back.

 

Magnus hadn’t slept much that night. The thought of having a pirate on the _Edomai_ that had tried to kill them hadn’t helped him relax.

They came together in the recreation room, where Raphael and Alec had tied the Weequay to a chair. When Magnus entered the room, Raphael had been sitting on the couch, his red jacket laying on the Dejarik table. Alec was leaning against the wall, he had his arms crossed in front of his chest. His eyes were cold and focused on the Weequay. Magnus had to admit that he looked intimidating. He looked like a predator that was lurking in the shadows and waiting for his prey to show a sign of weakness so he could attack.

Raphael looked at Magnus when he entered the room and gave him a short nod.

“Where’s Cat?”, he asked.

“She’s in the cockpit”, answered Raphael and leaned back onto the couch. Magnus focused on the Weequay. The pirate wasn’t looking at them, his eyes focused on his feet.

“Has he said anything yet?”, asked Magnus and Raphael shook his head. He got off the couch and moved closer to the Weequay.

“But I’m sure we can change that”, said Raphael and started rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt. Magnus squinted at him and he could feel the tension pouring into his shoulders.

“Raphael, don’t”, said Magnus, taking a step towards him. The pale man turned around to him and raised his chin.

“Do you have a better plan?”, he asked and spread his arms like an offering, “Because I don’t and he knows something. We need to figure out what these people know about us, what they know about you. The more we know the better we can keep you save.”

“But this is not the way to do it”, he answered crossing his arms in front of his chest, “We’re not the Separatists, we don’t torture people to get what we want.”

Raphael exhaled sharply through his nose and scoffed. “This isn’t the Senate, Magnus”, he replied, taking a step towards him, “You can’t convince people to stop all violence with just words. This is war. We all have to do things we don’t like.” Magnus turned back to give Alec a helpless look. He was a Jedi, he sure wouldn’t agree with Raphael’s plan. The Padawan just looked back at him. Stared at him with his hazel eyes that had turned from soft and comforting pools of green and brown into a cold sea of ice, where Magnus couldn’t see the ground anymore. He fought the urge to let out a helpless groan and looked back at Raphael. “I won’t let you hurt him”, he said.

He saw Alec leaving his spot on the wall from the corner of his eye. The Jedi placed a hand on Magnus’ shoulder and said: “I think it’s best if you leave, Magnus. Raphael is right. We all have to do thinks we don’t like.” Magnus head snapped around to look at him and for the first time since he entered the room he could see Alec when he saw into the Padawan’s eyes. His expression was softer, like he was trying to tell him something. Magnus didn’t like it. He didn’t want to be treated like a child. But he knew that there was no point in discussing with Raphael, especially if he had Alec backing him up. “Fine”, said Magnus and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “I’ll be with Cat.”

Without looking back he left the room and went to the cockpit to find Catarina more or less laying under the control panels. R3 was standing on the other side of the room, docked into another one of the panels. It looked like he was waiting for something.

“Try again”, came Cat’s voice from under the panel and R3 started beeping and working. Magnus took a step closer to the Captain and frowned.

“What are you working on, Catarina?”, he asked leaning forward a little, trying to catch a glimpse of her face.

“Trying to get some more power into our shields”, she answered. R3 let out some beeps and Cat reached out from under the panel to point at a box that was standing on her chair and said: “Magnus, can you give me the wrench out of the box please?” He picked the tool out of the box and put it into her hand, before it disappeared under the panel again. R3 beeped again and it took a second before she answered: “Now.”

Magnus just stood there, fascinated by the routine Cat and the droid had. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and started fiddling with the hem of his black t-shirt. R3 whistled and Cat let out a triumphant laugh. She got out from under the control panel, stood up and placed the tool back into the toolbox.

“Are you alright?”, she asked and closed the box.

“Alec and Raphael treated me like a child”, Magnus answered and let himself fall onto the co-pilot chair. All the thoughts in his head just left his mouth: “They’re questioning the Weequay and Raphael wants to hurt him to get information out of him and I tried to stop him so they sent me out. Alec told me to leave! He’s a Jedi, aren’t they supposed to be more pacifistic?”, Catarina had taken the toolbox of the pilot-chair and taken her place on it while Magnus kept on talking, “I can’t believe he agreed to Raphael’s methods.” He let out a deep sigh and looked at Cat.

She didn’t say anything, just looked at him. Magnus tensed up. He knew that look. It was the look she had given him after his first girlfriend had dumped him and he’d been crying on her shoulder or when Ragnor had left Magnus alone on Pandemonium to go to Coruscant for the first time after his parents had died. He had missed his mentor a lot during that time and Catarina and Raphael had always been there to cheer him up.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”, he said and Cat blinked at him, her expression changing completely.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m a child. A child you’re about to give a ‘valuable lesson for life’”, he made air quotes saying the last words and Cat rolled her eyes at him.

“You’re being dramatic.”

“If I wanted to be lectured I would’ve stayed with Alec and Raphael”, said Magnus and got up from the chair.

“Magnus, wait”, Catarina stopped him and motioned for him to sit down again. Instead he crossed his arms in front of his chest, what earned him an annoyed look from Catarina but he couldn’t care less. Maybe he was being dramatic but he was sick of having people treat him like he didn’t know how bad the universe was. Like he wasn’t living through a war too.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I see you as a child”, she said and gave him a shy smile while she patted the co-pilot chair. He sighed and sat, not uncrossing the arms in front of his chest. Catarina took a deep breath before she started speaking.

“I understand that you’re upset about Raphael’s interrogation methods, Magnus. You were raised as a politician, someone who refuses to use violence unless there is no other way. But Raphael? He was trained to be a soldier for the honor guard. He doesn’t scare away from using violence and I’m sure neither does Alec. They are both people that learned that words aren’t always stronger than force. They are both soldiers, in their own ways.”

Magnus frowned and turned his head to look out of the cockpit window. The blue stripes of hyperspace were flickering around them and a strange feeling of calmness surrounded him. He could feel Catarina’s inquiring eyes on him as he spoke: “So you think they are doing the right thing? Even Alec?”

“They are just trying to protect you, Magnus”, answered Cat calmly, “And I know what you think about Alec. I think the Jedi lost their ways during this war. They aren’t the merciful keepers of peace we learned about when we were children. This war turned them into soldiers. They aren’t guardians anymore.”

The door of the cockpit opened with a hiss and Alec and Raphael entered the room. Magnus didn’t turn around to look at them, keeping his eyes fixed on the blue stripes of hyperspace. Cat on the other hand turned her chair around to look at the newcomers.

“Did he tell you anything?”, she asked.

“Nothing we didn’t know already”, answered Raphael and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “They were supposed to take Magnus and get rid of the rest of us, but apparently, they didn’t know we had a Jedi on board.”

“What did you do with him?”

Magnus could feel the little hairs on his neck stand up at Catarina’s question. Pictures of the two men torturing the pirate flashed before his eyes.

“We locked him in one of the spare rooms, he might get useful.”

The tension left his shoulders a little. Alec hadn’t said a thing since they entered the room and Magnus could feel his eyes laying on his back. The Jedi was probably sensing his emotions and Magnus didn’t like it. He preferred not having people knowing what he was feeling.

Suddenly the com of the ship started beeping and Magnus’ head snapped around to look at the blinking button, announcing an incoming transmission.

Who was trying to contact them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you think you got rid of one trouble the next one might be knocking on your door already. No rest for the wicked.
> 
> I kinda feel like I'm letting y'all down cause I never update regularly. All I can promise y'all is that this story is dear to me and I won't abandon it. 
> 
> Kuddos and feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @/chorifoxash


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec tensed up when the com device of the Edomai started beeping.
> 
> “Here speaks the Captain of the Edomai”, said Cat and leaned towards the projection, “Who are you?”
> 
> \--
> 
> They never get a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's pretty short but I felt like posting,  
> plus there's a sweet Malec in here so I hope that makes it a little better
> 
> Anyways,  
> Enjoy!

Alec tensed up when the com device of the _Edomai_ started beeping. Catarina looked at the blinking button and then to the others in the cockpit. After what felt like an eternity of hesitation, Catarina answered the call. A hologram appeared. It was a man, a pandemonian with short hair. His presumably green skin looked blue-ish through the projection and the dark green markings on his arms and face reminded Alec of the markings some Trandoshans had on their skin. He didn’t wear a full armor, only a knee plate and a shoulder plate with a symbol that looked familiar. Then it hit him. It was the same symbol that both Cat and Raphael had embroidered into their jackets.

“Here speaks the Captain of the _Edomai_ ”, said Cat and leaned towards the projection, “Who are you?”

“Captain, my name is Dakota Crews”, spoke the stranger, his voice was deeper than Alec had expected, “I lead a resistance group that is fighting against the Circle, for the freedom of our people.”

Alec’s interest was spiked. He stepped closer to the projection when Magnus addressed Dakota.

“I’m Magnus Bane, Senator of Pandemonium”, he introduced himself, “What resistance are you talking about? I thought the Circle had imprisoned everyone that fought them.”

Dakota answered with a grin: “Not even the Circle is capable of locking up every Pandemonian that shows resistance. When word got out about you returning we found new hope. We could use the help of the republican army.”

Magnus eye’s wandered to Alec for a second before he focused on the man again. “I’m afraid that the Senate did not agree to send Pandemonium military help”, he explained and folded the hands in his lap.  

“I see”, said Dakota and the silence stretched for a few seconds. Alec could read the disappointment in the man’s fallen shoulders. “You won’t be safe when you reach Pandemonium, the Circle will be looking for you everywhere”, added Dakota, gaining back some of his posture, “We’ll be transmitting you the coordinates to our base. We can’t risk them taking you prisoner.”

Cat had turned her attention to the control panels and pressed a few buttons before looking at Magnus. “We got the coordinates”, she announced and Magnus nodded.

“Thank you, Dakota. We appreciate your help.”

“I’m only fulfilling my duty. Travel safely, your majesty.”

The transmission ended and left Alec with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. His hand instinctively ran over his Padawan braid while the entire crew stayed quiet.

“It could be a trap”, said Raphael and voiced the exact thing Alec was thinking. Magnus leaned back into his chair and said: “We don’t know that. And if there’s actually a rebellion going happening on Pandemonium then we could use their help.”

“We shouldn’t make a rash decision”, said Alec and placed his arms behind his back to stop his nervous gesture. He addressed the Captain next: “, How long till we arrive on Pademonium?” 

“About 20 hours. Maybe less.”

“That should give us enough time to think about joining the rebels”, stated Alec matter-of-factly, “I’d say we take time to think about it and make the decision later.” With that he turned around and left the cockpit to go to his room. On the way there his mind was spinning. Could there really be a rebellion on Pandemonium without the knowing of the Senate? Why hadn’t they contacted the Senate yet? They obviously had the technology to contact the _Edomai_ even though they were still hours away.

Once in his room, Alec took a small, circular holo-projector out of his bag and placed it on the floor. He sat down in front of it with crossed legs and turned on the projector. The small device had an integrated com-system, that he turned on, hoping that he would get advice from the person he was contacting.

Master Garroway’s projection appeared, the blue coloring not being able to disguise the fond expression on his face.

“Padawan.”

“Master.”

“I was worried you might have forgotten about us”, joked the elder and Alec smiled a little.

“I wouldn’t dare to, Master”, he answered, “We got busy, so I didn’t manage to report to you, that’s all.” Alec quickly told his Master about everything that had happened on the _Edomai_ ever since they had left Coruscant. He didn’t mention the nights he and Magnus had spent together while they both couldn’t sleep. After Alec had finished telling everything, Master Garroway crossed his arms in front of his chest and stood in silence for a few seconds.

“Do you trust the rebel?”, he asked, breaking the silence.

Alec nodded and placed his hands in his lap to stop them from running over his Padawan braid. The thought of walking into the rebel base without any intel made him nervous. He believed Dakota but it could still be a trap. His mind wandered to the Adamant battalion and the friends he had left back there. How often had they gone into a mission without an intel? Master Garroway’s voice pulled him back into the present.

“Contact me as soon as you’ve settled in the rebel base, we have to stay in contact in case the Senate decides to send you help”, he said and Alec nodded.

“I will.”

“May the force be with you.”

The hologram disappeared and there was a knock on Alec’s door. “Come in”, he called and the door opened with a hiss. Magnus was standing in the doorway and Alec smiled at him. He smiled back and Alec gestured for him to come into the room. The door closed behind Magnus and he sat down on the floor in front of Alec.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Did something happen?”, asked Alec and Magnus shook his head.

“Cat and Raphael are still discussing whether to trust the rebels or not”, he answered and Alec hummed in response. Magnus added: “I thought I’d leave them alone to it and spend a little time with you.”

Alec look at Magnus, trying his best to hide his surprise. His heart beat faster and the heat started to creep over his neck and his cheeks. Magnus wanted to spend time with him. It was such an innocent and honest confession, it made a warm feeling settle in the pit of Alec’s stomach. The voice in the back of his head started yelling at him. He was a Jedi, he wasn’t allowed to feel like this. Not for anyone.

Silence settled between the two and Alec shifted his weight, trying to stop his eyes from running over Magnus’ body. The muscular arms and broad shoulders, accentuated by his shirt and his beautiful eyes – those _eyes_ – with their golden reflection of the light. Alec’s mouth went dry and he ripped his eyes off Magnus face.

“Fancy a Dejarik game? We still have a few hours to kill before we arrive at Pandemonium”, asked Magnus and Alec thanked the stars for the chance of a distraction.

“Yeah, sure”, he answered and the two men moved from their spots on the floor to the door. Magnus tripped over the bag that Alec had left on the floor. Alec reacted quickly catching him by arms before he could fall down. Magnus gripped Alec’s arms and recovered his balance.

“You okay?”, asked Alec between giggles and Magnus nodded. Alec could’ve sworn there was a little blush creeping over Magnus cheeks.

“Yeah, I didn’t see the bag. Clumsy me”, he answered and Alec giggled a little more. They were still holding onto each other and just now he realized that Magnus was close enough for him to feel his breath on his cheek. For a few seconds they just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes and Alec felt his breath hitching in his throat. His eyes flickered down to Magnus’ lips that were slightly parted. They looked so soft and for a second Alec wondered what it would feel like to kiss them. Alec was the first to break eye contact and took a step back, causing them to let go of each other.

“Let’s go then, the game won’t play itself”, he said awkwardly and Magnus nodded. Alec hesitated for a second before taking the lead and leaving the room first. He could still feel Magnus’ hands on his arms like marking that were burned into his skin and sending a warm feeling through his entire body.

The small voice appeared in the back of his head again.

 

A few hours later Catarina’s voice echoed through the speakers of the ship: “We’re leaving hyperspace over Pandemonium. Get ready to go.”

Alec and Magnus were in the middle of another round of Dejarik. Alec looked up from the gametable at him and Magnus shifted a little under his look. After what happened in Alec’s room Magnus had kept his distance a little and he knew that Alec could feel it. Magnus could still feel the shadows of Alec’s strong hands holding him so he wouldn’t fall and his warm breath on Magnus’ cheek. His lips had looked so soft and he wanted to kiss him so badly. He wanted to run his hands through Alec’s dark, messy hair and see what was hidden under all those layers of fabric.

“We should get ready”, said Alec and ripped Magnus out of his thoughts. He blinked twice to get rid of the imagine of Alec in his mind and nodded. They were back at Pandemonium. Back home.

After a few minutes the entire crew was back together in the cockpit. Magnus entered the cockpit followed by Alec and sat down on his chair behind Raphael. His friend looked a little less tired than before but he could see his tense shoulders under his red jacket. Through the window, Magnus could see Pandemonium and it’s two moons. The planet that used to look green and brown from space with two big blue seas was now covered with grey and black spots. His heart clenched at the sight of his home destroyed like that.

“Where’s the separatist blockade?”, asked Raphael tense.

“On the other side of the planet. Apparently, they don’t have enough ships here at the moment to lock down the planet from all sides at all times. Dakota’s intel seems to be right”, answered Cat and Magnus could feel anxiety creeping into his mind. The little hairs on his neck started on stand up at the thought of a separatist battleship discovering them. He glanced over to Alec who was sitting on the chair behind Cat. He appeared completely calm apart from his hand fidgeting with his Padawan braid and Magnus found comfort in the fact that he was nervous too.

“The Circle seems to feel save if they retrieved ships from here”, noticed Alec and Raphael replied: “They have every reason to. It’s not like the Senate is anywhere close to deciding anything about the fate of Pandemonium.” Alec frowned at that statement.

“They didn’t have any attacks in the last standard-weeks”, added Cat: “I would feel safe too.”

The _Edomai_ entered the planet’s atmosphere and Cat pressed some buttons before announcing that they would soon arrive at the rebel base. Now that they were closer to the ground Magnus could see how severe the damages were. He moved from his seat closer to the cockpit-window. The town they were flying over had been torn apart by orbital bombardments. Black smoke rose from the ruins into the blue sky and Magnus swallowed past the lump in his throat. He buried his fingernails in the fabric of Raphael’s chair.

“Can you find any survivors?”, asked Raphael, his voice hoarse and Cat pressed a few buttons before answering.

“The scanners can’t pick up anything.”

Silence hung between them and Magnus felt like the walls of the cockpit were closing in around him. He had failed the people of this village. Just like he was going to fail the rest of people on this planet. The thought of what the capitol probably looked like sent cold shivers down his spine. Magnus’ breath quickened and his vision started to blur when he felt a weight on his shoulder. He looked up at Alec’s face, his hazel eyes filled with worry.

“Are you okay?”, he whispered and Magnus took a few deep breaths to calm his breathing, with little success.

“I shouldn’t have left”, he answered turning his head to look outside again. They had left the destroyed village behind, but the sky seemed a lot darker to Magnus now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So theories: shall we trust Dakota or not?  
> Lemme know what you think!
> 
> Kuddos and feedback are appreciated!
> 
> Wishing you all nice things  
> Chori
> 
> I also draw!  
> If you're interested in my drawings check out my insta @/chorifoxash


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